


2C

by Oumy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Alternate Universe, Bickering, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Malec plays the Cello, Musicians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-09 18:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18643660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oumy/pseuds/Oumy
Summary: Magnus Bane hates Alec Lightwood. He hates his smug perfect face. He hates his skills on the cello. He hates how he gets under his skin. He hates how he makes his stomach all weird and jittery. And he hates that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't hate him at all!Aka the enemies to lovers cellist Malec AU nobody asked for.





	2C

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there beautiful people. I've been hermitting with this project for the past couple of weeks, and I'm super nervous and super excited about sharing it, so be gentle 😊
> 
> If live-tweeting is your jam, please use #2Cfic so I can keep track. I love seeing your thoughts and reactions.
> 
> Also, I compiled a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/e88ge3jwv7momzqecxnt2mlxz/playlist/1QYKjNlGGHuWrsFHwp73ZE?si=vX_4HCihTdO0cz0xKrz4OQ) of the songs that are performed during the duration of this fic, in order and in their correct version. Feel free to check it out just to get a sense of how the mood for the scenes is set. Trust me, it's a different experience!
> 
> Alright, I'm gonna stop jabbering and let you get to the actual reading now. Enjoy 😍

Magnus was late. He sped into the Institute, his heavy case swinging with him as he moved swiftly, trying to avoid hitting people with it. He knew he shouldn’t have taken that detour to go see Maia this morning, but she always gave him free pastry when he visited her coffee shop instead of the one by his apartment, and this morning had been a brioche Suisse kind of morning. Now he was late, and as he speed walked through the throngs of people that seemed to just be standing around to annoy him, he hoped no one had poached the practice room. There were other rooms, obviously, but anyone who’d been at the Institute for longer than a few months could tell you that room 2C had the best acoustics in the place, and he wanted some flawless acoustics to rehearse his piece.

People waved at him as he passed by, wishing him good luck for the benefit next week, and he made sure to smile at them congenially. He generally didn’t socialize much with the rest of his colleagues, but they seemed to genuinely like him for some reason. He’d be the first person to admit that he had a bit of a chip on his shoulder about rich people who didn’t have to worry about mundane things like making the rent, or skimping on groceries because they’d unexpectedly had to buy flu medicine that month, and the Institute was filled to the gills with rich entitled kids that walked around like their shit didn’t stink. That was to be expected when a yearly fee to study at the Institute cost more than a kidney on the black market. However, he had encountered some exceptions in this place, actual kind people who seemed to appreciate his music more than they cared about what brand he was wearing or if his instrument was made of maple or willow.

They could probably feel that he didn’t belong with them any more than he wanted to. In fact, Magnus felt so out of place in these long halls that looked straight out of some gothic cathedral, complete with high arches and carved gargoyles on every corner. The only reason he did come here was because Magnus wanted to be the best, and to be the best, you had to have the right connections, had to perform at the right places, had to be known by the right people; so when Maryse Lightwood had approached him after his final spring recital in college to offer him a sponsorship, he couldn’t exactly refuse. For all he groused about hating these hollow, for-sure-haunted halls, even he knew the Institute was the best cradle of music in the country and probably the continent. Composers like Ragnor Fell had walked among these very halls, honing their skills and creating miracles through their music, miracles that the world raved about. He wanted that. He wanted to be remembered amongst the great.

“I don’t ever want you to be anything but what you are, Magnus”, his mother used to say, then she’d chortle at her own pun and look at him conspiringly and say “Get it? because you’re Magnus the Great” and shake her head ruefully like she was making that joke for the first time every single time. The memory put a smile on his face, because his mother had always delighted in the corniest stupidest jokes. His smile promptly vanished though, when he finally turned into the hallway that led to the practice rooms and could see, even from the end of the hall that 2C was closed. He hoped that some idiot had just forgotten to leave the door propped open, but as he got closer, he could see the red sign above the door that indicated the room was occupied. What the hell? He was barely ten minutes late!

“Son of a bitch”, he muttered, setting his case down and twisting his shoulder this way and that to alleviate the discomfort from hauling that much weight for twenty blocks. He’d been carrying his own instrument for eighteen years, and while his muscles had gotten accustomed ages ago to the weight, he really shouldn’t have walked that long.

He looked at the clipboard hanging on the wall next to the door, and confirmed what he already knew. The sheet had his name written down for an hour-long session between Ten and Eleven. He grumbled and looked back at the rooms he’d passed on his way, and sure enough, none of them were occupied, so whoever had been stolen his room had just done it because they were awful. Magnus considered what to do. He could storm in there and ask the offender to clear the space because his name was written there loud and clear, or he could take one of the other rooms himself, except he felt weird about disrupting someone’s rehearsal time, even if they deserved it, and he didn’t want another room, damn it! He wanted 2C. He’d penciled his name in two days prior just so that he could avoid dealing with this sort of crap. He looked back at the sheet and noticed that the room was clear for another hour after Eleven, so he heaved a disgusted breath at his own bullheaded attitude and grabbed the pen clipped at the top of the board and wrote his name again, this time with the new session time.

With fifty minutes to wait, he had plenty of time to hit the cafeteria and catch his breath from the long walk, but that would just invite more people to come talk to him and congratulate him on the benefit next week and Magnus really, _really_ was not in the mood to make small talk right then. Decision made, he slid to the floor, and propped his back on the door of the cursed room. He opened his case and grabbed his music sheets, going over the composition for next week’s performance. He already knew it by heart at this point, endless hours of practice drilling the notes into his brain and muscle memory doing the rest, but he still always had that terrifying nightmare that one day he’d forget everything as soon as he walked on stage. Doing so in front of a few hundred people who’d paid a thousand dollars a plate just to be entertained for the night would be even more daunting.

To be honest, Magnus wasn’t even sure what charity the Institute was organizing the benefit for. They supported so many that he lost track sometimes, but the only thing these endless balls and soirées had in common, beside the fact that he had to wear uncomfortable formal wear, was that he had to perform and participate in the charity auctions. The performing, he had no qualms with. As one of the only four musicians sponsored by the Institute, it was actually a great privilege to get to play at these shindigs that were brimming with influential people in the industry. It was the auction part that had him nervous. The auctioned items were easy enough, he supposed, dates or music lessons mostly, but the people who won were always bored housewives who had too much money and not enough attention, and Magnus hated going through with those things. He could always say no, but whenever Maryse asked, he felt guilty refusing, especially since it was for a good cause.

He focused back on his sheet, letting his hand drift in thin air, playing the invisible strings, his fingers knowing exactly the width of the neck, the distance between the lines and how hard they had to press to get the string to sing just the right way. Time seemed to fly by as he lost himself in the notes, trying to decide if he wanted to mess with the arrangement a bit, but he wouldn’t know for certain until he was able to actually hear the piece in this new modified version, which brought him back to his fury about the room poacher. He glanced at his phone, lying next to him on the floor, only to find that it was five minutes to Eleven. If the offender wasn’t done by Eleven, Magnus was definitely barging in, regardless of his discomfort about interrupting practice time.

He tried to put his ear flush against the door, in case whoever was inside was moving around, gathering their stuff, but of course he couldn’t hear anything. The rooms in this place were more acoustically insulated than an asylum, otherwise the screech and noise would be unbearable.

He settled his spine back in its position and turned his head to his papers when the door handle made a noise behind him, and he felt himself fall backwards to the floor as the door gave way. His head thankfully didn’t hit the ground, but he still landed with an oomph as the breath whooshed out of him. A pair of black oxfords appeared in his line of vision and he groaned before he heard the smug pompous voice above him “Oh wow, you are literally falling at my feet now, Bane? I’m flattered”

Magnus groaned again and rolled his eyes at the ceiling because of course, _of course_ it was him that would take someone’s practice room without permission.

“Lightwood”, he greeted sourly as Alec’s stupid head entered his view, a smirk already stretching his perfect face.

To say that Magnus despised Alexander Lightwood would be as much of an understatement as saying a violin made noise. He had never hated anyone quite as thoroughly as he did Alec, mostly because he was a smug snobbish know-it-all who looked down on him like he was some filth that he’d scraped off his shoe. Whenever their paths crossed, and they did so alarmingly often, Magnus felt like his skin was stretched tight, his whole body simmering with a strange tension and a searing heat. He’d never known such a visceral reaction to someone but Alec had gotten under his skin from the first moment they’d met.

Their animosity was not helped any by the fact they were always pitted against each other at every competition under the sun. They both had a vicious competitive streak that just fueled their rivalry. Magnus couldn’t even remember how it had started. _Okay, that was a blatant lie_! He knew exactly when it had started. He had met Alec on his first day at the Institute. When Maryse had told him that her oldest son was also a cellist, Magnus had thought that he would at least meet someone he had something in common with in this new unfamiliar chapter of his life. He’d come in that first day with a spark of hope that maybe he could fit in. He remembered the second he’d laid eyes on him, bathed in the sunlight coming from the bay windows on the second-floor lobby. Magnus’ breath had stalled in his throat and his entire being vibrated with expectancy at the gorgeous specimen he was approaching. It had taken all his willpower to reach a hand out and introduce himself, and then Alec had opened his mouth, and the illusion of angelic innocence had shattered in a heartbeat, because the prick had looked him up and down with disdain, zeroing in on his stretched out hand like it had personally committed a grievance against him, then had said ominously “I know”.

That’s it. That’s all he’d uttered before turning his head back to the window, leaving Magnus’ hand hanging in the air. Magnus could remember the sting of humiliation like it had been a day instead of three years since that interaction, and call him petty, but he had felt like Alec had one-upped him ever since. Their every conversation, if they can be called that, ever since had been nothing but verbal sparring matches to see who could cut the other down to size in record time. Magnus didn’t fair too badly. One of the best things he had going for him was his sharp tongue, and he did not mince words when it came to Alec Lightwood, especially because the prick dished it right back.

“Are you just going to lie there? Some of us have places to be”. Case in point! Magnus focused back on reality, picking himself up off the floor. He dusted his shoulders and back, all the while glaring at Alec “Yes, some of us had somewhere to be too if it weren’t for thieves that took other people’s turns”

Alec arched a brow and put his elbow on his black cello case, leaning back and emphasizing his tall legs. He was wearing his signature everyday look of black trousers, button-down shirt and black leather jacket. It was unconventional and funky and shouldn’t have looked so damn good on him, not that Magnus would ever give him the satisfaction of letting him know that. It was a grey shirt kind of day. Magnus could feel his irritation spike even more. He always found it extra hard to come up with witty repartee on grey shirt days.

“How am I a thief if I found the room empty and used it?”

“The room wasn’t empty and you know it”

Alec just faked a surprised look and turned to the obviously empty room, looking this way and that as if to make sure no one was hiding behind a chair.

“Oh, don’t be cute. You know what I meant”, Magnus retorted.

Alec looked back at him, a smirk lifting his cheek “I’m always cute, and you weren’t here. I wasn’t going to use the janitor’s closet when a perfectly good practice space was empty”

Magnus rolled his eyes at the dramatics. As if the oldest son of the Head of the Institute wouldn’t be able to find another practice space. Magnus would bet Alec had a sound booth at home just for his own personal use.

“That still doesn’t justify taking my reserved spot”. Magnus cocked his head to the side, feeling the usual rush of anger that flared through him every time they engaged in these inane arguments. “Tell me, Lightwood. Are you that worried I’m going to wipe the ground with you at the benefit that you’re resorting to sabotaging my rehearsals?”

Alec pressed his lips together, and if Magnus didn’t know better, he’d think he was stifling a smile. He tilted his head back and replied stoically “I didn’t think this was a competition”

“Oh, and that means I’m just supposed to let you win?”

Alec chortled like Magnus was hilarious “Oh, Bane”, he said as he moved past him, lugging his cello case behind him, “Never change”.

Magnus caught a whiff of his scent as he went by and almost wanted to curse out loud. He smelled criminally good, and that right there, was proof that life was unfair. Shouldn’t evil people smell funky? Or at the very least, off, to warn people away? Yet, there stood Alec Lightwood, smelling like cinnamon and the promise of sin, and it made Magnus twitch with the need to do something. He had no clue what that would be.

Alec moved from the door, his long legs already eating up the distance to the entrance, and the competitive side of Magnus, the one that reluctantly thrived on their rivalry, refused to let him have the last word, so he blurted out at the retreating figure “Bite me, Lightwood”

Alec turned around, walking backwards and spread his free hand, that perpetual half smile still etched on his face “Only if you ask nicely”

Magnus was distracted momentarily by a slideshow of vivid images that brought another kind of heat up to his sternum, and he quickly turned around to gather his papers and his stuff and occupy the room before someone saw him standing there, gaping like an imbecile. Having the last word wasn’t worth it, anyway, he convinced himself as Alec’s resounding chuckle echoed down the hall.

* * *

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. I’m here”, Magnus hurriedly apologized as he slipped into the booth. It was Wednesday and he was an hour late to his usual hang out with Maia and Simon at the Hunter’s moon.

“The musical prodigy arrives”, Simon cheered, his side of the table already harboring a small mountain of pistachio shells. Maia just smiled crookedly at him and waved her hand dismissively “Don’t worry about it. I was having fun grilling our dear boy here on his love story”

“It is not a love story”, Simon interjected, stabbing his finger into her arm, “It’s a tiny teeny crush, and I’m already regretting telling you about it”

“Oh, do tell”, Magnus teased as he reached into the bowl and for some nuts. Simon glared at him and dragged the bowl closer to himself.

“Isabelle”, Maia sung, clearly delighting in Simon’s stuttering mess. Magnus focused on his friend with a narrow-eyed stare, and said, unable to disguise his disgust “a Lightwood, Simon? You’re cahooting with the enemy?”

Maia snorted into her margarita and muttered “Someone’s been watching too many telenovelas again”, while Simon just rolled his eyes at him and said “Nobody’s cahooting, genius. Just because you and Alec have this weird rivalry, doesn’t mean that we all have to choose sides and go to war. This isn’t Troy”

“But, they’re all so snobbish”, Magnus pouted, beyond insulted that Simon would actually like any of them.

“Are they? Or are they just intimidated by the glower you throw their way every time you cross paths?” Simon said, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.

Maia whistled into her drink and looked into the depth of her glass like it held the secrets of the universe, and Magnus turned back to Simon to deny such accusations.

“I do _not_ glower at them”

Simon snorted “Yes, you do, and they notice. Isabelle actually asked me once if she ever did something to offend you because apparently, you give her the stink eye all the time”

Magnus opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again. He never really thought of himself as a mean person, well except to Alec because he deserved his wrath, but he had to admit that seeing the Lightwoods kind of just naturally reminded him of their oldest and his facial expression may be making some involuntary reactions that he did not permit. That sounded entirely plausible, so he deflated and said “I feel awful now”

Maia cooed at him and patted his arm “You can always fix it, buddy. From what Simon is telling me, this Isabelle sounds like a genuinely nice girl. I’m sure that if you just explain that you didn’t realize you were being mean, she’d be more than forgiving”

Simon nodded his head “Yeah, she totally would. Izzy’s a total badass”. He seemed to realize he was gushing because the most adorable blush rose high on his cheeks. Magnus wanted to tease but figured he’d antagonized the kid enough for now. He couldn’t help but feel like a big brother when it came to Simon. Luck had brought them together when Simon had played with Magnus at the winter ball the Institute put together last year, and somehow, a hesitant friendship had bloomed between the two of them. It helped that Simon was down to earth and one of the nicest people Magnus had ever met in real life. He was still a student at the Institute, finishing up his senior year, double majoring in percussion and composition. But it was Maia that was really the glue that held their little group of three together.

Maia had been a staple of his life ever since he was five, when she and her mom had moved next door to him and his. They’d bonded over lack of food on their tables, and tired mothers working double shifts to cover the necessities, and they managed to remain in touch over the years, always being there for each other no matter what. She and Simon had clicked like they’d been destined to be friends forever. They kept him sane and knocked him down a peg or two every single day.

“Enough about me”, Simon blurted in a blatant attempt to switch the subject. He turned his attention to Magnus and asked “How was rehearsal? Are you ready for Friday?”

Magnus flagged the waitress down to order some food because, as usual, he’d forgotten to actually eat anything today, and nodded his head “Yes, I’m actually really impressed with Raj. He’s doing a great job, and we’re harmonizing really well. I am hopeful”

Simon cracked another pistachio and said “I still think you should’ve asked Jace. That guy is a genius on the piano”

Magnus could feel his lip curl even as he reminded himself that he was going to start trying. “I’m sure Alec would need his brother’s help with his own performance; I wouldn’t want to put him in an awkward position”

“Nah, I heard Clary and Dot talking in class yesterday. Apparently, Mr. Lightwood wanted Alec to perform a solo, one of the Bach Suites”

Magnus inwardly cringed. It wasn’t that he didn’t love the Bach Cello Suites. In fact, they were some of his favorite pieces to play, but for some reason, he expected more. For a performance at a benefit where important people were there to be entertained, he found the choice to be so uninspired, so ordinary. However, it wasn’t his job to care about Alexander Lightwood’s musical choices, so he just hummed something non-committal and asked Maia about her day, changing the subject completely.

Their waitress came back with his nachos and the driest martini she could find, and as one glass became two, Magnus finally felt himself unwind and forget about the stress of work for a few hours, invigorating his soul with the joy of laughing with friends. Talk turned to the benefit once more, and Simon, who was slightly slurring his words by then snorted at Maia “I can’t believe this is the first time you’re coming to an event. How is that possible?”

“Hey”, she poked him in the chest, giggling a little “I’ll let you know that I have been busy”

“For three years?” Simon asked, incredulous.

“I opened the shop and I haven’t had time to take a night off in forever, but now, I finally hired help, so I can put on a dress and go with my best friend to his party”

Magnus just listened to them bicker, smiling slightly. He knew Maia was busy, and most importantly, an independent perfectionist who had to be there for every little milestone her thriving business took. Magnus was so proud of her for following her dream and opening that little coffee shop. He never begrudged her how busy she was. After all, she had had to deal with his grueling rehearsal schedules on more than one occasion over the years. Still, he was happy she was finally seeing him in his element as a musician, and not just a down on his luck college student. He couldn’t ask for a better date.

When the waitress declared last call, Magnus collected his goofy drunk friends. He’d switched to water after his second drink because playing the cello on a hangover was more hell than he could endure, so he made sure they found a ride home, then took himself to his dingy little apartment.

As he changed into a pair of boxers and washed off his eyeliner, he found his thoughts drifting once more to Alec and his performance. For some reason, it annoyed him that Alec was just blindly following his father’s lead. As much as being hyperaware of Alec’s existence was a nuisance, it also made him somewhat knowledgeable of his quirks and personality, and what he did know about Alec told him that he was a musician that liked the thrill of a challenge, one much bigger than Bach. He wanted to shake the guy and tell him to up his level so that when Magnus came out on top, it was won fair and square.

He tried to tell himself that these urges made no sense, that he should be glad his archnemesis was setting himself up for failure, but Magnus had learned long ago that when it came to Alec, his brain rarely listened to reason.

* * *

He was nervous. Of course, he was nervous. Magnus had been at the benefit for barely an hour, and already it felt like a hundred person had come up to him to tell him how much they were looking forward to his performance tonight, which was incredibly satisfying in its own right, but didn’t really help his anxiety any.

The second he and Maia had entered the ballroom, Maryse had snatched him up to introduce him to investors and conductors whose names he had only heard of during music theory lectures. The fact that these great names were even aware of his existence left Magnus in awe. It was a humongous effort not to gape and ask people if he’d heard them correctly whenever they told him that they’d been following his career. _His career_. His mom would be tickled pink to hear that one.

He was sure Alec, Catarina and Raphael were hearing the same spiel in some other corner of the room. The Institute was high profile enough that its sponsored musicians were always closely monitored by the industry, but even after three years, it still baffled him that he was living his dream.

After a few more rounds, he was finally able to escape and join Maia by the open bar where she’d set up camp.

“I’m sorry I left you to fend for yourself”, he started, but Maia just waved away his apology, sipping from a flute of champagne. “This is your night, bubby. I’m drinking free booze and watching my best friend wow the room. I’m having a blast”

She looked stunning in a mint green backless dress that touched the floor. Even just casually standing at the bar, he noticed several guys eying her, probably trying to dredge up the courage to talk to her. They probably hated him right then.

“So, when are you up?”, Maia asked.

“In a while. I’m going third. Alec and Catarina then me then Raphael”. By this point, she was familiar enough with his stories to recognize all his colleagues’ first names. Catarina was the oldest and longest running sponsored act of the Institute, going on seven years. She played the harp like magic and Magnus couldn’t wait for Maia to witness her immense talent, whereas Raphael played classical guitar, which was a very difficult specialty to go pro in, but he did it with such finesse and so much talent that he was one of the most sought after musicians at his level, giving that he’d joined the company merely six years ago. In comparison, he and Alec were novices with a respective three and four years each.

 _Speak of the devil_! Magnus’ eye caught on Alec as he excused himself from the group of people he was conversing with, dragged away by his brother as they whispered together. It was criminal how well his tux fit him. Classic black with a pressed white shirt and a black bowtie. His hair was a mess as usual, and he was sporting just a hint of shadow on his jawline, and Magnus could feel his skin tighten like it always did when he was around. They hadn’t interacted tonight. Well, not exactly. When he and Maia came in, the first person Magnus had laid eyes upon was Alexander. He’d been standing directly across from the door, already deep in conversation, but his eyes had been flitting to the door as if he was waiting for someone to arrive. The second their eyes had locked; Magnus had been swept by Alec’s gaze. It had its usual “I’m already bored and over your whole presence” tinge to it, but as it swept over his Chinese inspired black and gold jacket, black trousers and red pointed black oxfords, Alec’s gaze had grown molten and incinerating. Even from across the room, Magnus could feel the heat in his golden flecked eyes, but then Maia, who’d been depositing her coat at the check-in counter had joined him, and Alec’s gaze had shuttered instantly. He’d looked between them like he was seeing through them, then turned back to his conversation. The whole interaction had been so bizarre that Magnus was almost certain he’d imagined it all. After all, Alec Lightwood didn’t look at him with anything but disdain.

He was shaken from his thoughts by Maia leaning in close to whisper to him “Pictures do _not_ do that guy justice”

He realized that she’d followed his gaze to where Alec was still whispering in hushed tones with Jace. As much as he agreed with her -Alec was much more handsome in person-, he felt it necessary to argue just out of principle “Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side”

“I am, truly. That’s why I’m going to stare at him in anger for the entire night” she quipped, her lips quivering with the start of a smile.

Magnus just rolled his eyes at her impishness and went back to watching the pair, who were now heading for the backstage area, probably so Alec could set up for his performance.

He herded Maia to their table and pulled her chair before settling next to her. For some inane reason, he was startled to realize that he was nervous. As much as his competitiveness reared its head when it came to Alec, he didn’t want the man to flop his set. He tried to convince himself that they represented the same company and therefore, any bad reputation affected his image as well, but the reason sounded flimsy even to him.

Even if he did want Alec’s performance to go well, it didn’t mean that he cared or that his animosity for the guy had lessened. In fact, even as he wished that Bach wowed the audience, the burn of resentment was ever present and simmering in his gut. _Ah, the joys of thinking of Alec Lightwood!_

The MC got up on stage, gaining everyone’s attention and made the proper introductions, introducing the charity benefitting from this ball and thanking the congregated crowd. He then started explaining the itinerary, in detail, and Magnus wanted to throw him off the stage and get it done with. Luckily, the MC seemed to realize that everyone had a brochure right next to them that explained everything he was blabbing about because he wrapped it up rather quickly, then announced, “So, without further ado”, and Magnus wanted to roll his eyes to the heavens, “Please help me welcome our first performance of the night: Alec Lightwood”

A round of applause rose through the crowd, before the light on stage dimmed to black. The curtain rose, and where Alec should’ve been sitting, cello in hand, there was only black. Murmurs rose through the crowd, and Magnus felt his heart pound in his chest. Suddenly, three spotlights hit the stage. One on the far left, illuminating Jace sitting at a grand piano, one on the far right, illuminating Isabelle who was sitting on a stool, violin in hand, and one in the center, illuminating Alec and his cello.

All three had their heads bowed, as if unaware of the crowd, and Magnus could feel the adrenaline course through his veins with the thrill of surprise. It was just like Alec to catch him off guard with something wholly unexpected. He leaned forward in his seat even as he tried to work out what arrangement would allow for a piano and a violin to play into the classical piece, but then Alec played the first two notes and Magnus couldn’t help but smile. He was so glad that Alec couldn’t see him right then because he would be smug for all eternity, but he couldn’t help it. The infuriating jackass wasn’t playing Bach after all.

As the first notes of the overture of Rossini’s _The Barber of Seville_ rose through the ballroom, Magnus could feel the energy of the crowd shift. People sitting straight in their chairs, paying more attention because mayhap they weren’t getting the usual mind-numbing performance. The siblings’ heads were still bent over their individual instruments, each lost in the passion of their art, each playing a part of a well-oiled machine. As the piece moved through its opening act, it became evident that while masters of their own art, Jace and Isabelle were providing back up to their older brother, their older brother that was quite literally stealing the show. Magnus would be spitting mad if he weren’t so impressed. The overture was meant to be played by a Quartet of cellos, and while the violin and the piano were doing wonders picking up the slack, one cello should not have been enough to give the song its due, and yet somehow, it was. The ups and downs, the change of tempo and rhythm, executed flawlessly while Alexander just looked as if he was away in his own sphere. Head bowed, dark hair its usual glorious mess, eyes closed as he leaned his head to the tumultuous waves of the piece, his graceful fingers flying over the neck of his cello, a lover caressing a life-long partner, a familiar companion, as they took what was supposed to be a mundane performance on a regular Friday evening, and made of it a vivacious cacophony of color and life. It wasn’t until he hit the first crescendo that Magnus could see Alec smile. It was small and still hidden by the angle of his head, but Magnus had studied that face more times than he could count, and he knew that lift of the cheek, and understood that while the audience witnessed a man masterfully tame an instrument on stage for their entertainment, Alexander Lightwood was having the time of his life, and it was genuinely and irrevocably for his own.

The song progressed as such, a jovial festivity of dance and lyrical genius, undulating between woodwinds and horns before propelling into almost reckless crescendi only to drop down to a sonorous tenor. Magnus’ heart swelled, as it often did when he got to witness Alec completely in his element, and he recognized that maybe more than them all, this was the reason Magnus hated him the most, this unnamable feeling that took over him whenever Alec was wholly and completely himself, shedding away that outer shell that he wore like a fighting armor.

His unusual thoughts were interrupted by thundering applause, and it was only when people around him rose to congratulate the trio on stage that Magnus even realized the performance was over. He rose to his feet, as Maia, clapping furiously turned to him with saucer wide eyes and just mouthed “Wow”.

Magnus couldn’t blame her, not when he had chills all over. So, he just widened his eyes too, then he looked back at the stage. Isabelle and Jace were smiling softly, bowing at the waist, while Alec’s stoic façade was perfectly in place. He probably didn’t realize it but he was betrayed by the glint in his eyes. Those hazel beauties had lightened into a golden hue, joy and carefree abandon shining through them. He equally bowed at the waist before the curtain dropped again, obscuring them from view.

The crowd was all aflutter, people chattering excitedly about what had just happened on stage, and Magnus saw Maryse and Robert Lightwood cross the room to reach the backstage area, people stopping them along the way to congratulate them on their children’s musical genius no doubt. Maryse smiled congenially, thanking people for coming, while Robert looked straight ahead, face incased in a mask of cold ice, blank and unfeeling. Magnus could feel his gut twist. That face did not look like it promised good things. He remembered the conversation Simon had overheard, and how Robert had been the one to choose Alec’s piece. Alec going behind his back must not have gone well with the man.

For someone who controlled his career somewhat, Magnus knew very little about Robert Lightwood, beyond his legendary career, that is. Robert had been one of the most renowned classical pianists of their generation. Magnus could still remember badgering his mother as a child to go to the music store and look for recordings of his live performances with the Vienna Philharmonic and the Chicago symphony orchestra. However, an injury caused by a car crash sixteen years ago had left him unable to have full range of movement in his right hand, which had killed his career swiftly and completely. He had then dedicated his entire time to making his legacy through the Institute’s reputation, which probably meant that he didn’t like surprises like the one his son had just delivered.

The pair disappeared back stage, which reminded Magnus that Catarina’s performance was starting in a minute. He turned to Maia to let her know that he needed to set up for his performance. She smiled softly and wished him luck, promising to cheer the loudest when he was done.

He looked around, looking for Raj and found the student already standing by the archway that led to the backstage area, waiting for him.

The other side was significantly less organized than the elegant affair of the ballroom. People with headpieces ran around like headless chickens, barking orders into microphones while doing a hundred simultaneous task. Magnus found Catarina just as she was about to head on stage. She gave him her usual kind smile and quipped “You’re going to have to step up your game, Magnus. It looks like Alec isn’t playing around tonight”

Magnus laughed, because while he was sure of his own skillset, he really wasn’t looking forward to following that act. Alec would probably win this round, but there was always the next. That was the reassuring thing about their dynamic. At the end of the day, the one thing he could count on was that Alec would always be there to get under his skin and make him want to commit cold blooded murder. There was always another opportunity to get back at him.

He waved at her “What about you? Aren’t you nervous about going up after that?”

She chuckled lightheartedly and patted him on the cheek “My dear Magnus. For some of us, the world does not revolve around Alec Lightwood”

Magnus rolled his eyes even as his heart skipped a beat. It infuriated him when people mistook his hatred for passion or some silly notion like infatuation. He hated Alec. There was nothing else to it. He opened his mouth to argue, but closed it when a stage hand called Catarina over. The MC was announcing her, so Magnus just touched her sleeve, mouthed “Break a leg” and let her be.

He found Raj sitting by the cello case someone must’ve brought from the Institute. He looked nervous, as it was probably his first time performing outside of an academic capacity, and Magnus was quick to reassure him. He opened the case, taking his cello out and sticking the pin in place, then reached into the compartment where he usually put his bow, only to find it empty.

“Shit, shit, shit”, he muttered under his breath as he looked into the empty case as if his bow would appear by magic. Raj must’ve heard him because he leaned in closer and asked him what was wrong. Magnus explained and Raj looked like he was about to throw up. He would be of no help at all.

He stopped a stage hand and asked them if anyone had touched his stuff before he’d gotten here, but the poor frazzled intern assured him that a van had transported the equipment from the Institute to the venue and put it exactly as they found it. The commotion must’ve alerted Isabelle Lightwood, who was walking out of the backstage area because she approached them hesitantly and said “Hey, is something wrong?”

Magnus didn’t really want to talk to her about it, but before he could reassure her that everything was fine, the intern spewed everything out in a rush of nerves and looked at her as if to ask her to save him from this dire situation. Isabelle actually looked worried herself, then she turned to Magnus and asked him, shyly as if scared he would scold her for the intrusion “Can you think of the last time you saw it?”

Magnus thought back to his final rehearsal with Raj that morning, and vividly remembered putting his stuff back, leaving the bow out to apply rosin to the hairs, and _shit_ , he couldn’t remember actually doing so. His landlord had called and he’d gotten too frazzled. He groaned and turned to her, cursing his stupid forgetful brain “It’s in the practice room, I’m sure. I must’ve forgotten to pack it after practice today”

“Alright. No need to panic. I’m sure we can find you another bow in no time. I’ll go talk to Alec and see if his is still in proper condition”

Magnus cringed, visibly, and Isabelle arched a brow at him, daring him to put his pride over his performance, but Magnus couldn’t get the words out past his parched throat. Eventually, he nodded and managed to get out a scratchy “Thank you” that she probably felt had shaved years off his life.

She just smiled gently, shaking her head as she went. Magnus took a seat next to Raj and berated himself even more for his lack of attention.  He didn’t want to deal with Alec’s smugness for the next month, but more than that, he wanted his bow. He didn’t think of himself as a highly superstitious person -he was too practical for that-, but there was something about his bow that was a bit magical to him.

It had been a gift from Maryse Lightwood. On the day of his first performance with the Institute, a student had sat on his bow and broken the wood. It had been a stupid accident, but it had shaken his already nervous disposition to the core. He’d had to play with a borrowed bow, not unlike today, and it was probably one of his worst performances to date. He’d gotten off that stage, certain he was about to be thrown out the door. The fact that Alec had been there to witness the whole ordeal hadn’t made the pill any easier to swallow.

Th next day, he’d walked into room 2C and found a dark grain Pernambuco bow sitting on top of the piano, a red bow around it, sporting his carved initials. There hadn’t been a letter or a card, but he figured it was Maryse telling him that he hadn’t blown his sponsorship to shit. Whenever he brought it up to her, she acted confused and told him she had no idea what he was talking about, so he figured that she didn’t want the gesture to be acknowledged.

From that day on, that bow had been a constant reminder that sometimes you got second chances in life, and that when luck smiled upon you that way, you shouldn’t squander it. You should try your best to make that second chance count for something.

Isabelle returned swiftly, bow in hand and he exhaled in relief. While he and Alec had never stooped to sabotaging each other, -they were too stubborn to fight about anything other than superior talent-, he wasn’t sure that Alec would actually help him if he were in need. She handed him the bow and moved to step away, and Magnus remembered his promise to Simon, that he would stop treating Isabelle like a pariah, just because she was saddled with a jerk for a sibling, and called out to her. She turned back to him, still looking wary, and Magnus felt like a heel. How awful had he been exactly for her to look at him so nervously?

“Thank you for your help. You didn’t have to, but thank you”, he scratched at the back of his neck and cleared his throat before he said “You guys sounded incredible out there, by the way. Congratulations on your performance”.

Isabelle just tilted her head to the side and regarded him with a small smile on her face “Really? All of us? Even Alec?”

He couldn’t stop the burst of laughter that escaped him. He was so not subtle about his feelings when it came to the guy, but credit should be given where credit was due “Yes, even Alec; Although, if you tell him I said that, I will deny it”.

“Noted”, she winked at him, then nodded her head at the bow he was holding in his hand. “Good luck out there, but I’m sure you don’t need it”. Magnus just smiled at her, gathering his stuff because he could hear the audience clapping, indicating that Cat had finished her set.

He looked back at a fidgeting Raj and clapped him on the shoulder “It’ll be just like rehearsal. You have nothing to worry about, you’ll see”

The poor guy puffed out a long breath then nodded resolutely, visibly shoring up his courage. A stage hand motioned to them to tell them they were up and Magnus grabbed his instrument and walked up to the stage. He could hear the MC announce his name as he took his seat and positioned his cello between his legs. The stage was dark, and he could barely see Raj from the piano seat, but he nodded at him then focused back on his cello, feeling for the strings and taking a deep long breath.

He could hear a smattering of applause before the curtain lifted. He waited for the complete silence of the audience before moving his bow ever so gently over the strings, his signal to Raj to start counting at tempo. The first note of this song always transported him to a gentle oasis, the rich warm tone of it filling him with a sense of wonder that never ceased to assuage. Yiruma’s _River flows in you_ was not what one would consider a classic by any standard, but Magnus had never really been a conformist when it came to his art. He’d started playing because he wanted to make people feel, and thus never apologized for choosing a piece that moved him like this one did. As the piece entered its first movement, Magnus could feel himself slip into that special place where only he and his cello existed, where worries no longer counted and where his heart beat to the notes, his whole being moving along his bow. His fingers were by now very familiar with the lines of this song, to a point where he no longer felt like he was performing. He was just feeling, and it was this euphoric emotion of wonder that made every late-night rehearsal, every cramp in his hands, every up and down worth it, because Magnus had the privilege to do his favorite thing in the world for a job, and he would never take that for granted.

As he dragged his bow over the strings for the final note, Magnus finally felt like he was returning to reality after an out of body experience. The thundering applause of the audience startled him out of the gentle sway he was in, just in time to see Raj look at him with saucer wide eyes, clearly overwhelmed. Magnus gave him a quick tilt of the head and they both bowed at the waist. As he straightened up, he looked at the standing crowd just in time to see Alec stride out, his long legs eating up the distance to the front doors as he walked out of the ballroom. He was still gazing at those double doors when the curtain went down, obscuring his view.

The gentle warm feeling was snuffed out by a gaping emptiness that Magnus could feel spreading from the center of his chest, and he hated that even in the afterglow of doing something he adored, and while he should be feeling the exhilaration that accompanied a perfect performance, Alec still had the power to get under his skin like no other. He didn’t understand why he should care that Alec had left. Hell, he should be relieved that he wouldn’t have to deal with his snarky remarks after he went back to his seat, but somehow, they had formed a tradition that dictated they be good sports about their competitions. They needled each other endlessly and gave each other hell. That was how it always went; This new taste of bitter callousness was something he didn’t like feeling at all.

He gathered his stuff and accepted congratulations in a haze, his mood utterly ruined. He berated himself for caring. He berated himself for obsessing over the stupid detail of his archnemesis’ sudden departure and just wanted to leave; but he’d promised Maia a night of fun, music and good food, so he put his cello case back with the rest of the equipment to be returned to the Institute, stuffing Alec’s bow in there because he really couldn’t be bothered right then, then went back to his table. Maia was grinning from ear to ear, waiting for him to take a seat before squeezing the life out of him and gushing about how good he was. He listened to her heartfelt words, smiling gently, hoping to shake off the melancholy that had gripped him.

The rest of the night went by in agonizing slow motion, as Raphael performed a beautiful rendition of Tarrega’s _Recuerdos de la Alhambra_ , followed by a lavish dinner filled with plates Magnus couldn’t even begin to decipher, only to take part in the world’s most painful auction. It was then confirmed that Alec had left when the MC merely announced three prizes to be won. His three-session cello tutoring sessions were won by a fifty-year-old woman who actually looked enthusiastic about the cello itself, which was a refreshing turn of events, but the bidding itself had drained whatever was left of his dwindling energy.

He was getting surlier as the night progressed, and he realized that he wasn’t being subtle about it when Maia nudged him to ask if they could leave. He jumped on the opportunity, waving a hasty goodbye to Maryse who was still circling the room as if she hadn’t been on her feet for the past several hours. He put Maia in a cab headed home, after she made him promise to call her tomorrow. That was what he loved most about her. She knew when to push and when to let him wallow for a bit, and wallow he did; He looked right then left, trying to decide if he wanted to go home yet, home to an empty apartment, just him and his tumultuous thoughts and his traitorous feelings. The idea didn’t sound appealing. Plus, he remembered his forgotten bow and decided a walk to the Institute in the brisk cold of the evening was exactly what he needed to clear his head.

He stuffed his hands into his trousers, and huddled into the collar of his jacket. He was not dressed for a walk, but he didn’t let that stop him. Despite the leisurely pace he set, he still made it to the Institute too fast for his liking, but since loitering outside would make him look like a creep and probably make someone call the police, he walked in. The night guard just nodded his head and let him through. It was fairly common for musicians to practice at any moment during the day, which was why the Institute was always open, and nobody batted an eye at him going in at almost midnight.

The halls were empty though, especially with the benefit still going at full swing a few blocks over, so nobody intercepted him as he made his way to room 2C. However, when Magnus turned into the dark hallway leading to it, he could see faint light shining from underneath the door. It was unusual for this particular room to be used by anyone other than the upperclassmen and the sponsored musicians, and since all of those were otherwise occupied, Magnus figured someone had just left the light on inside. He twisted the handle, sure to find an empty space, only to be assaulted by loud music playing on the surround sound system inside.

Magnus was confused for a moment before his eyes settled on the lone figure occupying the room. Alec had his feet propped up on the edge of the piano, while he balanced on the hinge legs of a chair, holding a tumbler that contained what looked like whiskey, eyes closed, face tilted towards the ceiling. His bowtie was unknotted, first button on his pressed shirt open, exposing a delicate patch of creamy skin. He looked wary and tired and lost in his own world. Magnus hesitated at the door, unsure what to do in the face of this unexpected sight. The sound choice would be to leave while Alec still hadn’t noticed him lurking in the doorway, avoiding any nasty confrontation while his nerves were already frayed. But something about the painting in front of him, the sense of vulnerability that was emanating off of Alec in that moment sparked a funny feeling in his chest, so he called out to him, softly at first, then louder, in order to be heard over the music. It was purely accidental that when he revved out to shout an “Alexander”, the song ended and his voice ended up echoing in the empty space, startling Alec from his reverie enough that his chair lost balance and landed him on the floor, the tumbler of alcohol spilt all over his shirt.

Magnus rushed forward, closing the door behind him, as a deep groan echoed from the prone figure on the floor and a muffled “What the hell, Bane?” sounded from him.

Magnus felt bad, but still felt a giggle get stuck in his throat as he reached Alec and helped him up. Alec’s eyes were spewing fire as he dusted himself off and looked at the offending wet stain on his shirt. He looked up at Magnus, his hazel brown eyes freezing him to the spot.

Magnus backed up slightly and lifted his hands “I called your name. It’s not my fault you didn’t listen the first hundred times”

Alec’s jaw worked back and forth as he looked at him, once again sweeping his gaze from Magnus’ head to the tips of his shoes. He must’ve been drinking for a while, because his voice sounded hoarse when he asked him “What are you doing here?”

Magnus tilted his head to the side, contemplating this man that had him furious not ten minutes ago. He somehow couldn’t summon that rage now that he was standing in front of him, looking unusually unguarded.

“I could ask you the same thing. You left early”

Alec’s brow arched as he smirked, and there was the armor building itself up again. Magnus almost felt sad to see that defying smirk appear “Are you keeping tabs on me, Bane?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Lightwood. I merely wanted to see the look on your face when you realized I won tonight, but sadly, you deprived me of the satisfaction”, Magnus was just bluffing, naturally. Even he could admit that Alec had more than earned the credit for the evening, but something about his words caused the smirk to fade off Alec’s face, only to be replaced by the same sad almost lost quality to his appearance.

“Well”, he said somberly, “Congratulations, then. Is that what you came here to hear?”

The solemn declaration was so unlike the brash belligerent man he knew, that Magnus could feel a frown notch between his brows. _What was with him, tonight?_ He kind of wanted to shake Alec into himself, so that Magnus’ chest could stop feeling so tight. He wasn’t used to this much nuance on Alec’s face, not without his cello in hand at least.

Careful not to let on that his confusion was palpable, Magnus turned around slowly, scouring the place in search of his precious bow. Alec must’ve noticed his gaze because he reached inside the piano forte’s cover and recovered his bow. Magnus reached forward to take it, and Alec lifted his hand up out of his reach.

Magnus just looked at him exasperatingly, because what were they? Five-years old? And Alec laughed at the expression on his face before teasingly asking “Where’s mine?”

“In my cello case, you obsessive psycho. I’ll return it tomorrow”

“Is that your idea of a thank you, Bane? After I saved your hide tonight”, he tsked in mock disappointment.

Magnus could feel the familiar heat of anger suffuse his body. It was a much familiar territory and he almost cheered because this Alexander, he knew how to deal with. This Alexander, he loved to hate.

“Thank you, Lightwood” he gritted out between clenched teeth, and snatched the bow out of Alec’s hand. Since the insufferable ass was back to his normal self, Magnus felt no need to linger. He moved to leave the room when a tinkling of glass caught his attention. Alec was pouring another finger of scotch into his tumbler, seemingly settling in for a while. Magnus’ attention snagged on a detail, and he turned to fully face him.

“How did you get here?”, he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Alec’s attention was diverted by the movement of his arms and his gaze seemed stuck on them. Did he spill something on his chest? He looked down, seeing nothing of the sort, before snapping his fingers to gain Alec’s attention again. That worked because Alec startled, looking up at him questioningly, and Magnus had to repeat his question again.

Alec frowned and replied evenly “I drove”, which was the answer Magnus was afraid to hear. He walked back to him; hand stretched out “Give me your keys”. Alec looked at him like he was speaking a foreign language, and Magnus repeated himself, motioning for him to hand them over. Alec reached into his pockets and dropped his keys into Magnus’ open palm, looking more intrigued than anything, and Magnus clutched the keys in his hand and turned to leave “You’ll get these in the morning, when you’re sober enough to get behind the wheel”

Alec actually laughed and said “I would think you’d be happy if I ended up wrapped around a tree somewhere, Bane. It sure would make your life a lot easier” and Magnus froze. He felt completely caught off guard by the bitterness in Alec’s voice, not to mention how callous his statement was. He turned to him for the second time and started, unable to keep his voice from shaking, he was so angry with the idiot “Is that what you think? That I want you dead?”

Alec seemed to realize that he’d taken it a bit too far because he looked instantly apologetic, heaving a disgruntled breath before he said “No, I don’t really think so. That was insensitive of me”

“Damn right, it was, you oaf. Just because you’re a smug snobbish jerk, doesn’t mean I actually want something bad to happen to you”

Alec seemed amused despite himself, dragging a hand through his hair as he looked at him with a half-smile “No, it doesn’t. I’m sorry. Here, let me make it up to you” he said, grabbing a second tumbler from the cupboard and pouring some whiskey into it. Magnus hadn’t even realized there was alcohol in that cupboard.

“There wasn’t, I brought them from my father’s office”, Alec replied and Magnus looked at him questioningly. He shrugged and said “You looked like you were wondering”

Magnus looked at the drink Alec was offering and shook his head, still furious at him “No, thanks”

“Oh, come on, Bane. Be a sport, I’m trying to apologize”

“I don’t feel like sharing a drink with you at the moment”

“I didn’t know you were a prude”

“Well, I didn’t know you were an asshole who joked about his own death but here we are”

Alec groaned deep and husky and Magnus could feel his skin tighten again, and damn it all to Hell, now was not the time to get distracted by how deep his timbre was. “This is why our conversations never lead anywhere”, Alec said emphatically, “You make me talk in circles. I feel like I’m losing my damn mind. Just take the drink, Magnus. For once in your life, don’t argue with me just for the sake of arguing”

Alec looked fair to bursting at the seams, and while Magnus was still angry at him for that stupid joke, some part of him wanted to take the drink, to make this interaction last a bit longer. He knew that if he left, he’d go home and toss and turn and think of a hundred different scripts of how this conversation would’ve happened, so he heaved a disgusted sigh at his own lack of self-control and grabbed the drink from Alec’s hand.

Alec smiled victoriously, and wisely kept his mouth shut. Magnus took a seat across from Alec and sipped his drink, only to feel the harsh burn of the alcohol singe his esophagus. He coughed slightly and said hoarsely “This is quite the drink”.

Alec just snorted and threw back the last of his drink, saying softly “It’s been quite the day”

Magnus figured he was talking about his performance and in the spirit of this tentative truce they were having, blurted out “You were great, by the way”

Alec lowered his glass slowly, as if to make sure he had heard him correctly, then hesitantly replied “So were you”.

Magnus felt genuine surprise that Alec would admit such a thing. He could feel a peculiar warmth spread through his limbs at the words, although the warmth could be attributed to the burn of the alcohol. He figured that since they’d brought it up, he could get his curiosity assuaged, so he cleared his throat and said “Can I ask you a question?”

Alec was already pouring himself another drink. He held up the bottle to Magnus in a silent invitation, and Magnus shook his head, still swirling his glass. He waited for Alec’s “Sure” before saying “And you won’t give me a bullshit answer?”

Alec chuckled, shaking his head softly “My God, you’re more skittish than a cat. Why would I lie to you?”

“Um, because we’re enemies?”

“Are we?”, Alec asked softly, causing Magnus’ stomach to somersault a bit.

“Aren’t we?”, he replied just as soft.

Alec smiled his usual crooked smile and said “Does it matter?”, and Magnus felt like they were speaking completely different languages, participating in completely different conversations. He shook his head and said “I don’t suppose it does”

Alec just snorted, tilting his head up to the ceiling and slouching in his seat “Ask your question, Bane”

“Why the Barber of Seville?”

Alec smiled slightly, a small twitch of the lips, before he asked “Do you remember what made you choose the cello?”. The question seemed rhetorical because he didn’t wait for Magnus’ answer before he continued “I think I was eight. My parents took us to Verona, and while Izzy and Jace just wanted to stay in the hotel room and binge cartoons till past their bed time, I begged my mom to let me go with them to the open-air opera they were attending”

He turned his head to look at Magnus then, a teasing light in his eyes “And yes, I know how nerdy that is. You don’t need to tell me”

Magnus lifted his hands in peace “Hey, I didn’t say a thing. Plus, I expect something like this from you. I almost had a heart attack when I came in and heard Billie Eilish on the stereo. I didn’t know you listened to anything that was released this century”

Alec just rolled his eyes back to the ceiling “Smartass”, he muttered and Magnus couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped him. A few moments later, Alec spoke again.

“So, here I was, the only eight-year-old waiting for this musical to start, and there it was, the overture. I think it was the first time I realized that music could be a living being; that it could breathe, and sigh and laugh and cry. I’d never heard something so joyfully alive before, and as I watched the cellists and the violas play, I knew that I wanted to create magic like that”.

He sounded so wistful and nostalgic and Magnus felt his heart squeeze in his chest, because he knew that feeling of belonging better than most. He never thought he’d feel kinship with Alec Lightwood of all people, but he supposed they were made of the same coin when it came to their passion for music.

Alec went on, unaware of Magnus’ thoughts. “I thought about trying the viola at first, but soon disregarded the thought. It was too warm, too subtle. I needed something brash and bold and unpredictable, so the cello it was”

Despite the warmth of the story he was telling, Alec’s tone was sad, melancholic even, and Magnus recalled Robert’s stony face from earlier. He hesitantly asked “How did your parents handle your choice?”

The sound that came out of Alec was something between a laugh and a groan and it encompassed so much bitterness. He laughed humorlessly and said “Father never forgave me for leaving the piano for something as pedestrian as the cello”

Magnus couldn’t help feeling offended at that.

“Pedestrian?” he exclaimed, and Alec actually smiled, looking at him steadily “You think I’m a snob? Good luck dealing with Robert Lightwood. Anyway”, he sighed and concluded “I needed to remember that reason tonight”

 Magnus didn’t know what to say to that. He hadn’t expected Alec to answer his question so thoroughly, to be such an open book about his reasons. It left Magnus feeling off balance, so he thought it best to change the subject completely.

“So”, he started, inserting some cheer into his voice, and Alec looked instantly on edge. “Billie Eilish, huh?”, Magnus quipped, and Alec just widened his eyes at him.

“Why are you so surprised? I like her voice”

“I do too. I just didn’t think you were the kind that listened to _Lovely_ on blast while drowning your sorrows in a bottle of whiskey”

“I’m not drowning my sorrows”

“The half empty bottle would like to disagree”

“Well, the half empty bottle can shove it”

Magnus fought the urge to laugh. There was something incredibly endearing about an unguarded slightly buzzed Alexander Lightwood. He closed his eyes to fight the temptation to do something embarrassing like smile at him, and heard Alec humming under his breath. He was humming the song, and Magnus felt chills spread over his skin.

He needed to leave. Every second he spent here existing in this moment of fantasy where he and Alec didn’t hate each other and didn’t exchange barbs as a form of dialogue, the more he could feel emotions shift within him, and the last thing he wanted to do was let his guard down when it came to this man. He was already down a point in their ever-going rivalry. It wouldn’t do at all to fall further behind. When he opened his mouth to tell Alec that he was leaving, what came out instead was “Do you want to play it?”

 _What the hell, Bane? Where did that come from?_ His brain yelled at him. He wanted to face plant into the floor and disappear before Alec could answer.

The answer, when it did come a few moments later, was nothing like he expected “There’s only one cello in the corner”, Alec replied as if he was really entertaining the idea.

Magnus opened his eyes and looked at him steadily, trying to deduce if the man was pulling his leg, but Alec seemed genuine enough, so he cleared his throat and hesitantly added “Yes, but there’s a piano”. He knew that Alec still played, even it wasn’t his passion.

Alec looked like he was contemplating something before he hesitantly asked “Why would you do that?”. His throat worked on a swallow as he waited on Magnus’ answer.

Magnus couldn’t possibly tell him that he didn’t have the slightest clue himself, so he just acted confused and said “What do you mean?”

“I thought you hated me”

 _I still do_ , his subconscious chimed in, although the proclamation sounded weaker than it usually did. Unwilling to think about what that meant, Magnus just shrugged “I’m sure you’ll do something to remind me why in a minute or two”.

Alec looked amused. “Fair enough”, he muttered under his breath before moving from the chair he was occupying to take a seat at the piano bench, while Magnus grabbed the cello that was sitting on the stand in the corner of the room, tuning it slightly as Alec played the according keys. They agreed on the tempo and decided on the range. Trusty bow in hand, Magnus nodded at Alec to take the lead.

From the first note, a certain sense of peace settled over the room. It felt like they had been playing together forever when in fact, this was the first time they even deigned to be in the same space for longer than minutes. For two people who clashed in their every interaction, they shouldn’t have been that in sync. Magnus could feel his heartbeat take on the rhythm of the song, as it always did when he was so intrinsically attuned to the music. Alec’s hands on the piano moved like water, tickling the keys to coax them into the gentlest melody.

The whole song couldn’t have lasted more than four minutes, but when they hit that final note, Magnus felt like they had moved to an alternate dimension. Even the colors of the room looked different. His mouth felt too parched to speak, and all he could do was pant through his nose as he caught his breath.

That had been magic. On a conscious level, Magnus had always known that if he and Alec ever collaborated on a piece, they would be unstoppable. He didn’t say it out of vanity, not at all. It was just a fact derived from how much they both strived for perfection in their work. Even knowing so, his hands still shook slightly from the intensity of what had transpired.

He looked over at Alec, only to see his head bent over the keys, his riot of messy locks obscuring his expression. The whole atmosphere was strife with tension, and Magnus wanted to diffuse it somehow but was loath to mess with the sanctity of the moment. Alec was silent for so long that Magnus considered leaving and just letting him be. He was clearly working through something and Magnus honestly couldn’t summon the urge to kick him while he was down. He started to put the cello back in its place when Alec finally spoke, voice hoarse and scratchy, face still lowered down “Can- can we do that again? Please?”

Magnus’ heart squeezed painfully, because while the request sounded ordinary enough, he could feel there was a wealth of emotion beneath the surface, for Alec to actually use the word “please”. He knew that he could leave. He didn’t owe Alec anything. They weren’t in the habit of doing each other favors, but the moment felt monumental, pivotal in a way, so he cleared his throat and simply replied “Which song?”

If he weren’t paying so much attention to Alec’s body language right then, he would have probably missed out on the way his body deflated, as if he had been bracing himself for rejection. He finally raised his head to look Magnus in the eyes, his own glowing with a peculiar shine. If Magnus didn’t know better, he’d say that he was on the verge of tears, but he knew that Alec would never allow himself to be that vulnerable in front of him.

He decided on Coldplay’s _The scientist_ , and Magnus was startled to realize that their incredible harmony was not a fluke, as evidenced by the chills adorning the nape of his neck as the song drew to an end. The last note hung in the air for a few minutes before Magnus scrambled out of his seat, hastily putting the cello back in its place. He felt like his skin was about to burst, like in mere moments, he was about to be open for display, unable to disguise the mess of overwhelming sensations coursing through him, so like the coward he was, he needed to retreat. He crossed the room, hyperaware that Alec hadn’t said a word since the song had ended. He wasn’t sure if he wanted or dreaded him saying anything.

Just as he reached for the door handle, he heard a quiet “Thank you, Magnus” and his heart leapt in his chest like the traitor it was. His name sounded like a tortured plea that he didn’t dare answer, so he settled for an even “You’re welcome, Alexander” and fled the room.

* * *

His head was being pounded by flying monkeys. That was the only explanation for the mixture of shrieks and raging headache he had. Alec groaned deep, then winced when even that hurt his aching noggin, then literally huddled under his pillow, trying to slip back into blissful oblivion. However, it looked like that wasn’t in the cards when the door to his bedroom creaked open and a weight bounced on the mattress next to him, further worsening his state. God, he could feel his stomach revolt, so he swiped at the offending monster who was torturing him, begging them to stop.

The bouncing stopped, only for the pillow to be snatched out of his hand and then for his sister’s voice to practically shout in his ear “Get up, Alec. I made breakfast”

The groan that came out of him was pure agony as he squeezed his eyes shut and croaked, feeling like death warmed over “I think I’d rather die of alcohol poisoning than food poisoning, thanks”

“Hey” was the exclamation Izzy gave before she hit him with the pillow. “I’ve been standing at the stove for an hour so I can feed your ungrateful bum. The least you can do is say thank you”

“Thank you, Isabelle. Now, can you please go away?”

“No, Jace is on his way over with coffee. There’s a bottle of Advil on the stand next to you. You have exactly ten minutes to grab a shower and do something about that hangover before I forcibly drag you from the room”

Even in the pain of his pounding head, Alec recognized his sister’s drill sergeant voice well enough not to argue, so he just waited for her to close the door behind her to heave his disgusting carcass out of the bed and do as he was told.

As he came out of the room ten minutes later, he actually felt somewhat human. He walked into the kitchen just as the front door opened and Jace came in, balancing a tray of coffee cups and a box. “What’s in the box?”, Alec asked, then immediately regretted it when both Jace and Izzy shouted in unison “ _What’s in the box_?”

They’d been making that stupid joke since they’d watched _Seven_ together years ago, and he’d admitted that that scene had horrified him. The idiots both cracked up and Jace put the stuff on the counter and said “bagels, doughnuts and apple fritters”

“I thought Isabelle was making breakfast”

Jace snorted and said “It’s _because_ Izzy is making breakfast” then ducked to avoid the kitchen towel she threw at him.

They set up the table, and dug in. Alec’s appetite was actually doing great after all the whiskey he had last night, but as he tried to enjoy his cream cheese bagel, he could feel twin pairs of eyes gouging holes into his head. When the silence became unbearable, he put down his bagel with a sigh, because it was a really good bagel, and looked at his siblings “Alright, let’s hear it”

They looked at each other guiltily before Izzy started, picking at her nails and trying to be nonchalant “We’re just wondering how you’re holding up”

“I’m fine, guys. You don’t have to worry about me”

“Alec, you’re not fine. Nobody expects you to be fine”, Jace chimed in, sympathy clear in his tone “Even if it was your choice, saying goodbye to a big chapter of your life isn’t easy”

Up until yesterday, actually, it had been. Giving up music had seemed like the right decision to make. He wasn’t lying to Magnus last night when he’d told him that he felt like he needed to remember why he started playing in the first place. The weight, expectations and constant pressure had sucked the joy out of music for him lately, to the point where the only viable option had seemed to let it all go. He hated feeling so lost and directionless, but once he had decided on it, it had seemed like right thing to do.

He’d decided to bow out before the industry broke him, because without passion, the idea of competing for titles and entertaining crowds had seemed like an unfathomable task, and the benefit last night had been his coup de grace, his one final moment in the spotlight before he moved on. He wasn’t delusional enough about his feelings to think that it didn’t hurt, that he wasn’t heartbroken by the decision, but sometimes, life didn’t go how you wanted it to, and you had to adjust to the cosmic plan, and in a way, surrendering had helped, because last night’s performance was the most fun he’d had on a stage in years. The lack of expectation, the certainty that for once, he was the only person in control of the consequences had been a breath of fresh air, and it had been enough… for the first part of the evening at least.

“About that”, he started, and his siblings straightened up in their seats. He looked at them expectantly, wary of their reactions and Jace said “I saw dad go backstage after the performance. We were worried he would say something to upset you”

Alec chuckled humorlessly “Of course he did, but when did that ever stop me?”

Their parents didn’t know about his decision because, frankly, he hadn’t felt like he owed them anything. To say that he didn’t get along with his father would be an understatement, and his mother had always been a follower, willing to look the other way for the sake of the family image. It didn’t faze her when her husband strayed, or treated his children like soldiers in his own personal crusade to have his legacy live on forever, as long as they stamped their perfectly straight smiles, _pun intended_ , and waved at the adoring crowd. To them, he was a constant source of disappointment, the black sheep that just wouldn’t fit into the box they had designed for him. He’d fought too hard to break that box in the first place to bother with mending the pieces.

“No, he just let me know that as long as I was representing his Institute, I wasn’t allowed to stray from his plans”, he continued, and Isabelle rolled her eyes while Jace shook his head, grim.

“Well, you’re not going to represent him any longer anyway”, Izzy retorted, and Alec remembered his original statement and said, fidgeting a bit in his seat “Well, maybe I’m going to put the decision on hold for a bit”

It took one second for the shrieking to start and he winced, his hangover still not completely forgotten. Izzy jumped from her seat to give him a tight hug, while Jace clapped him on the shoulder, smiling gently.

After suffocating the life out of him and Jace having to forcibly remove her from around his neck, Izzy looked up at him, suddenly serious “Wait, this doesn’t have anything to do with dad, does it? Because I will let him have it if he’s pressuring you or anything”

Alec was shaking his head before she finished “First of all, neither of you is to approach dad. As long as he’s paying your tuition, you stay out of his hair. You’re graduating in June. Don’t mess with him, okay?”. When all he got was twin sulks from the both of them, he reiterated the question “Jace, Isabelle. Are we clear?”. It was only after they promised to leave well enough alone that he continued “And I assure you; it was entirely my choice. Let’s just say I had an epiphany last night”

An epiphany was one way to put it. A divine intervention was another, but Alec preferred calling it what it was: Magnus Bane. The intensity of his feelings when they had played together was still fresh in his mind, undiluted by the haze of drunkenness. That magical suspended moment in time when all the pieces aligned and he actually felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be, where the music spoke to him again instead of the gibberish that he’d been hearing for the past few years, when nothing mattered but living in the moment. He’d missed that feeling, and the fact that he found it in Magnus’ presence…well, it didn’t surprise him one bit.

If Alec believed in the notion of soulmates, he would be sure that Magnus Bane was his. Thankfully, he didn’t, and if he even entertained the idea, a sharp word from the man himself would convince him otherwise. The fact remained that Magnus Bane was the one thing Alec wanted in life so completely, so ardently that sometimes, sharing space with him made it hard to breathe.

He couldn’t remember exactly when he’d realized that he was in love with the maddening man, but then again, he didn’t remember a time when he wasn’t. From the moment he’d first laid eyes on him, everything else had become inconsequential. Of course, it was just his luck that the one person he felt like he couldn’t live without would be the one person to hate him just for existing. See, Alec had no delusions when it came to Magnus’ feelings for him. He knew that Magnus hated him, and that no matter how many times he tried to approach him, to somehow change that first impression that had doomed him, he always managed to make it worse. After a year or so of trying, he’d simply given in and played the part of the villain Magnus had somehow put him up for, and just enjoyed their snarky bickering for what it was, his only way of keeping him close.

“What are you going to do, then?” Jace asked, shaking him from thoughts that usually took over his every waking morning.

“Well, for starters, I’m going to collect my car keys”, he replied cryptically, and his siblings looked at him like he was insane. When he didn’t elaborate, they decided that their doughnuts made much more sense because they went back to eating in silence, letting him set up a game plan.

* * *

As Alec climbed the staircase to the fifth floor –apparently, the elevator was out of order-, slightly out of breath, he found himself rehearsing everything he wanted to say a thousand times over, nerves getting the best of him even as he felt the familiar elation that often accompanied the knowledge that Magnus was nearby. 

He reached unit 3B, and heaved a long readying breath before tentatively knocking on the door. A few moments later, he heard a muffled “Coming” before the door opened to reveal a version of Magnus Alec had never seen before.

Black tank top, grey sweatpants, bare feet and a soft domestic look about him that Alec knew would star in his fantasies for months to come. Magnus looked startled to see him standing there, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he tried to come up with something to say. Alec focused on his face, as always getting hung up on his soft lips, then stifling a fond smile, because there was something incredibly endearing about the fact that Magus wore eyeliner even to hang out at home.

When the silence got too loud to ignore, Alec smiled a bit and said “Are you going to invite me in, or do I need an engraved invitation first?”

Flames instantly sparked in Magnus’ chocolate browns, and Alec should’ve felt bad for goading him all the time, but God, was he a glorious sight when he was mad.

Magnus straightened his back and crossed his arms over his chest, momentarily frying Alec’s brain because _biceps_ , then said “Are you stalking me now, Lightwood?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Bane. I am here on a mission”

“Which is?”

“My car keys, unless you’re planning on keeping them as collateral”

“Collateral for what?”

“I’m sure you can come up with some grievance I caused”

Magnus arched a brow and sighed theatrically “I can think of at least three at any given moment, Lightwood”. He then stepped back and held the door open, nodding his head for Alec to enter “Let me grab them for you”, he said, already disappearing into a room.

Alec took advantage to study Magnus’ space. He always fantasized about entering Magnus’ home and finding this space that was so representative of the man himself; otherworldly, warm, a mix of old school charm and gothic ageless flair, a place where he would instantly feel peace, full of little nooks and tidbits that told a bit of Magnus’ story in every piece. The reality was much different. In fact, Magnus’ apartment barely looked lived in. It was blank, barely furnished with minimal practicalities. There was a big couch in front of a flat screen TV, a coffee table that looked like the last century hadn’t been too kind, and boxes stacked up against the walls, with labels like “books” and “kitchenware” attached to them. Alec could feel the frown on his face as Magnus walked back into the room, his car keys in hand. He looked at him and froze in the doorway, instantly wary “What?”, he croaked.

Alec just shook his head and gestured at the stacked-up boxes “Are you moving?”

Magnus didn’t even bother following the direction he was pointing at “No”

“Did you just move?”

“No”

“Then why are you still packed?”

“How is that any of your business?”, Magnus snarled.

Sometimes, Alec wanted to lash out at Magnus for putting them in this situation they were in, wanted to rage at him that if he had just given him a chance instead of written him off as the villain in his story, Alec wouldn’t have to deal with insipid inquiries such as how Magnus was any of his business, but then logic kicked in, and Alec realized that the only person he had to blame was himself. Magnus didn’t owe him anything. Life didn’t offer second chances, and he’d ruined the best thing that ever happened to him before it could even begin. So, he acquiesced, properly chastised “It’s not. I’m sorry I asked”

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, Alec could see the deep chocolate brown of his irises, a fire no longer banking in their depths. Magnus shook his head and retorted “No, it’s alright. I’m sorry I snapped at you. I just haven’t had the time to unpack”

  _For three years?_ Alec didn’t ask. Sometimes, when Magnus was around, his brain got too overwhelmed with all the things he wanted to say to him that the only thing that filtered out was the wrong thing to say, or maybe they were just wired to push each other’s buttons with every word they spoke.

Magnus licked his lips and extended the keys in his hand “Anyway”, he started, “Here are your keys. Your car is still in the Institute’s parking lot. I took a cab home”

“Thank you”, Alec replied, taking the keys. The simple brush of their hands caused chills to spread all across his body, and he swallowed roughly, trying to get a hold of himself. Every single day, it got harder to pretend, to pretend not to care, to pretend that the blank, nonchalant façade he put up wasn’t anything more than that, a façade.

On any other day, their usual script would dictate that he say something to rile Magnus up, watch him turn red with the power of his fury then make a pompous exit, but today was different, because today, he needed Magnus more than he ever did before, and convincing him of that meant letting some of his honest thoughts through.

So, there he stood, six foot three of fidgeting human, trying to figure out the right way to ask the love of his life to be his salvation.

“Is there anything else I can help you with? I have errands to run”, Magnus started, looking just as uncomfortable with their current situation.

 _Well, now or never._ “As a matter of fact, there is something I wanted to talk to you about”, Alec replied. “About last night, in the practice room”

It was extraordinary how quickly Magnus’ shoulders went up and his face got this wary suspicious expression on it. His heart beating in his throat, Alec stuffed his hands into his pockets and forged on, determined “When we played together, I know I can’t be the only one that felt how good that was”

Magnus was looking at his hands like they were the most fascinating thing in the world, and Alec couldn’t help his smile. Magnus was the most skittish person he knew. For all his poise and grace with a cello in his hands, he turned into a wary disgruntled cat the moment he got uncomfortable.

Head still down, he nodded his head hesitantly and said “Yes, I recognize that we made a good combo”

Alec didn’t realize how scared he was of Magnus denying their harmony until he uttered those words. The whoosh of relief that rushed through him told him that despite his best efforts never to expect anything from his one-sided feelings, Magnus denying whatever ethereal magic they had created last night would’ve utterly crushed him. Spirits restored, he went straight to the point “Well, I was wondering if we could do that again sometimes”

Magnus’ head snapped up so fast Alec could swear he heard a click. Eyes wide, he asked him “Why would we do that?”

 _Because I needed to find a muse and last night, I realized that you were it_. Except, he couldn’t say that. Magnus didn’t have enough of the facts to understand, so he did what he always did, he fronted.

“I don’t understand the question”

“Yes, you do. Don’t mess with me, Lightwood. Why would we play together again?”

“Um, because we can”

“Really? This is your convincing argument?”

Alec blew out a breath and held his hands up in a gesture of surrender “Look, I understand that we’ve been less than friendly in the past”

“A cat and a dog sharing a food bowl are less than friendly. We hate each other”

“Well, actually. I had a golden retriever named Mr. Fluffy when I was a kid and he shared his food with the neighbor’s dog all the time”

“Alexander, I swear-”, Magnus hissed at him and Alec chuckled. He raised his hands at Magnus’ murderous expression and amended “Okay, okay. I’ll stop, but I think hate is a bit exaggerated, don’t you think? I mean, we’ve had our differences, we’ve goaded each other plenty, but at the end of the day, you wouldn’t want me dead. You said so yourself”

The reminder of Magnus’ words from last night brought out warmth near the region of his heart. It was the first time Magnus had even remotely acted as if he cared a tiny bit about him, and while Alec realized how pathetic it was that he basically existed on crumbs of the man’s affection, it was still the best he could manage.

Magnus just sighed and sat on the couch, letting his hands dangle between his legs, and looked at him “That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to play with you”

“Liar”, Alec said. He wasn’t drunk enough last night to forget Magnus’ smile as they played. He could deny it all he wanted, but Magnus was too passionate about music to deny harmony such as theirs for long. “You want to play with me. You just don’t want to want it, so let me make it worth your while. Name your price”

By this point, Magnus was looking at him like an alien. It took him a good ten seconds to work up the words to say “W- What?” _Smooth, Bane. Real smooth_

Alec repeated the question and Magnus shook his head “Why are you going through all this trouble? I’m sure there are plenty of people who would have jam session with you from here till eternity”

“Well, I want you” and it was probably the most honest thing Alec had ever said to him.

Magnus got a weird look on his face at the words, before he dragged his hands over his face and sighed.

“Do you want money? I could pay you, like tutoring lessons”

“Except you don’t need tutoring and I don’t want your goddamned money, Lightwood”

“I liked Alexander better”

“Well, tough shit. I liked it when you made sense to me. We don’t always get what we want”, Magnus retorted, obviously getting worked up again, and Alec knew he needed to stop with the sass. He needed Magnus’ cooperation. He took a seat on the couch next to him, leaving some inches of space so that his jumpy cat wouldn’t run from the room in discomfort and softened his tone “Fine, you don’t want money. Then, name something else. Anything you want, as long as it’s something I can provide”

He saw Magnus open his mouth, a refusal clear in his eyes and Alec desperately burst out “Please, just… don’t answer me now. Take your time, think about it. There has to be something you want. Just, forget about our history and our bloodthirst for competition and remember how good we sounded together. We can work around your schedule, do this entirely on your terms, but this is me, formally begging you to really think about it before you turn me down”

He couldn’t stand the confused, almost pitying look Magnus had on his face, so he clapped his hands on his knees and got up, walking resolutely towards the door as he said “Well, then. I’ll leave you to it. Let me know when you come to a decision”

He reached for the handle and turned to find Magnus still sitting, looking slightly dazed “Magnus” he said, grabbing his attention, and it felt so satisfying to be able to say his name outside of the dalliances of his own heart “whatever you decide, thank you for last night”

“You said that already”, Magnus croaked out, voice hoarse, and Alec chuckled warmly “Really? The one time I actually say something nice, and you’re giving me crap for saying it again. I’m starting to think you like it when I’m being an idiot”

“I’m glad you realize you actually _are_ an idiot”

“Oh trust me. That fact was never in question”

* * *

The stubborn jerk made him wait a week. A full seven days before he deigned to send Alec a text message that made him feel like they were in a hostage situation. The text message said:

_Tmrw. 2C. 5PM. If you’re one minute late, the deal is off_

Obviously, Alec had booked the practice room since Three PM, because he was not taking any chances. At five to Five, Magnus walked in, lifting an impressed eyebrow when he saw him already dallying inside. He’d probably laugh him out of the room if he realized how long he’d been there, so Alec said nothing at all, waiting for him to make the first move.

Magnus put his cello case against the wall and approached him slowly. The first thing out of his mouth was “I still haven’t managed to think of something I want, so I decided my price is a favor”

“A favor?” Alec repeated.

“Yes, a favor I get to cash in whenever and wherever I want”

Those terms were too vague for Alec’s taste, so he started “Now, hold on a sec”

“Those are my terms or I walk, Lightwood”

Stubborn, infuriating, maddening man. “Fine”, Alec intoned, “Anything else?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. We meet in this room, according to both of our schedules. We have each other’s phone numbers. We’ll set up convenient times, and this room remains the twilight zone”

Alec couldn’t help the burst of laughter “The what, now?”

“The twilight zone”, Magnus insisted, “Meaning, that what happens outside these walls, stays outside these walls. We don’t discuss personal matters, and we don’t talk about our schedules or upcoming competitions. We come in here, declare a truce for the duration of the session, then we leave in our separate ways. Do we have a deal, Lightwood?”

Well, it seemed like Magnus had taken full advantage of his week of thinking because he was as determined as if he were discussing the Versailles accords. Alec knew he could argue. He knew himself well enough to know that there was no way he would coexist with Magnus and not try to get personal, but for the sake of his music, he was at least willing to try. “Deal”, he nodded.

“One last thing”, Magnus added and Alec groaned because, _seriously_! “Come on, Bane. It’s just a few jam sessions”

Magnus just glared at him and said “How long is this going to last?”

Shit, Alec hadn’t actually thought of that. He’d been too happy that he finally found some way to get his passion back that he didn’t bother putting an expiration date on it, but it was a completely legitimate question. They couldn’t do this forever. “Um, until we get sick of it”

“That won’t work. You’ll annoy me in the next five minutes and I’ll call it quits”

“Alright”, Alec conceded, beyond exhilarated that Magnus wasn’t jumping on the opportunity to call it quits. “Let’s say, until you cash in your favor. Then, we’ll call it even”

Magnus considered and nodded his head obligingly, extending his hand to Alec for a handshake.

Amused, Alec just stared at his graceful fingers that made a cello sing like magic, then looked up at him “Are we going to spit on it?”, he quipped, and Magnus rolled his eyes and said “Give me your hand, smartass”

Alec did as he was told and as they shook on their crazy deal, he looked into those eyes he loved so dearly and prayed that this would be a clean slate for him, not just when it came to his career, but also to making things even remotely right with Magnus. He cleared his throat and announced “Hi, I’m Alec Lightwood”

Magnus’ lips twitched, as if he was stifling a smile and said “I’m Magnus Bane. Nice to meet you”

They held each other’s eyes as their hands cradled each other’s, and Alec knew that whatever deal they had made in this room was a pivotal moment for him. He could feel it in the static in the air, in the chills on the nape of his neck, and in the tingles that were spreading where Magnus’ skin was touching his own. They stayed like that for a minute, until Magnus seemed to snap out of the trance they were in and nodded at him to begin, so they did.

Magic would be what Alec could use to describe the next few weeks. As he and Magnus met twice a week, sometimes three if they could swing it, something magical seemed to happen. He could feel it every time their eyes met from behind their cellos and they didn’t look away. He could feel it when they finished a piece and nailed it so completely that Magnus couldn’t help but hold his hand up for a high-five with a smile as big as the sun. He could feel it when their conversations lost their barbs and acquired a peculiar feeling of bickering, almost like flirting but not quite. He could feel it when they gathered up their stuff and Magnus left the room with a “See you around, Lightwood” instead of an “Eat shit and die, Lightwood”. Most people wouldn’t consider that improvement to be something significant, but most people weren’t Alec and Magnus. In their book, that was akin to Magnus breaking out the friendship bracelets. Of course, the fiend still refused to call him Alec, no matter how many times he asked. At this point, it was more like a game than anything. The day he managed to break Magnus’ stubborn streak about his name, he’d know that he’d softened that fierce heart.

As he dwelled on this, Magnus rushed into the room, swearing softly when he saw Alec sitting in their usual spot, cello in hand. He rushed forward, apologizing for being late. Alec assured him that it was alright. He actually hadn't been waiting for long. He waited for Magnus to catch his breath and get settled before asking him if they could try a new arrangement for the song they were working on. Something about the way they had played it last time had niggled at Alec all day yesterday, and he'd finally cracked and gone into his home studio to try and puzzle out why it had sounded so clunky.

He found himself doing that more and more often lately, picking up his cello without any prompting, thinking of notes and proper technique during his morning workout. He owed it to Magnus honestly. The guy had an eerie ability to push him into treating a piece as more than just notes written on a piece of paper. He took the clinical out of the equation with his bubbling enthusiasm for the soul of every song. When he asked Magnus to play something, the first thing Magnus asked was "why that piece?".

At first, Alec had thought that it was Magnus' way of trying to irritate him, but after noticing how interested Magnus seemed in the answer, he'd finally felt brave enough to ask him about it. "Well, if you're going to put effort and energy into learning something, I think you need some sort of motivation to do so. Nothing is more potent than an emotional attachment to a piece, so knowing why the piece matters gives me more insight into how to deal with it, how to process it", Magnus had answered with complete honesty, matter-of-fact and informative, unaware that he'd just instilled awe in Alec.

That was the thing he was becoming more aware of lately, how for so long he'd admired and cherished every interaction with Magnus, creating this image of him that on some level, felt like it could crumble at any moment, and how every time they played together, he got to fill one more piece of the puzzle that Magnus was, gaining a tangible sense of why he was so incredible. It was like Alec was falling in love with him all over again, in tiny increments and finite moments, and it was exhilarating and liberating and a fuel to his passion, especially for music. He loved every moment of it.

Magnus looked intrigued by his proposal, and after Alec explained the changes he'd made, he even seemed excited to try it out. They went over the piece a few times, tuning things that Alec couldn't realize were wrong with only one cello, and working out the kinks. It was on a particular mishap that Alec noticed Magnus wincing slightly, adjusting his position and cringing a bit in pain.

Alec stopped playing, instantly worried, and asked him what was wrong.

"What do you mean?", Magnus replied, looking completely relaxed for the world to see.

Alec nodded at his leg and said "You keep repositioning it. What happened?"

Magnus rolled his eyes and waved his concerns away "Oh, it's nothing. I think I twisted my ankle a bit on my way over, but I'm sure it'll get better in a minute"

Alec still wasn't convinced. He knew how an untreated sprain could swell up in no time. He patted his knee and said "Give it here"

Magnus arched a brow and said "I don't know what you heard, Lightwood, but I am not into that kind of kink"

Alec almost asked what kind of kink he _was_ into, then realized that that was wholly beside the point. _Focus, Alec_. _You can be a horn-dog later_. Instead, he rolled his eyes and said "Very funny. Just let me check if it's sprained"

Magnus just snorted and said derisively "I didn't know your widespread array of knowledge extended to medicine"

It was moments like these that Alec rued the day he had ever played along to Magnus' archnemesis idea. It made every attempt he made to be genuine come off as condescending and fake, so he simply sighed and started "When we were kids, Jace and I didn't have much in common. I mean, yeah, we had music, but he was obsessed with piano, and I had sworn to myself that I would distance myself from the instrument just to spite my father's controlling tendencies. So, we had to get creative if we wanted to spend time together. I had a late growth spurt, so for most of our childhood, Jace was actually taller than I am. Shocker, I know", he added when Magnus snorted, actually looking intrigued by this little window into Alec's life. "So, he suggested that we get a hoop set up in our backyard and start playing basketball. Dad hated it obviously, because it took precious time away from our practice"

"You were what? Ten, eleven? He expected you to be robots?", Magnus interjected, looking appalled.

Alec just shrugged. He'd given up on trying to understand his father a long time ago. "So, that was how we spent every free moment we had, trying to set the score for the best basketball player. At least until Isabelle started joining us and kicking our asses on the regular. Then it got way less fun" he sulked, and Magnus laughed out loud just as intended.

"She seems cool. Your sister"

"She is", Alec agreed.

"Simon seems taken with her, so she must be", Magnus added and Alec's face must've conveyed how he felt about that little information because Magnus cracked up, hooting "Oh, the protective older brother emerges! You don't have to worry, you know. Simon is a good guy", he tried to reassure him.

Alec snorted "I assure you, Izzy would have thrown him to the curb a long time ago if he weren't. My sister's tolerance for bullshit is always at an all-time zero. It's just... He talks a lot", he sighed apologetically, throwing Magnus into another laughing fit.

Alec's heart was pounding in his ears because Magnus' laugh was the most magical sound he'd ever heard. He was used to hearing it only from afar, a distant chime that grew fainter and fainter the closer he usually got. To be the cause behind it, to witness it firsthand... Well, it made Alec feel like a damn superhero, and that was a dangerous addictive sensation.

He shook his head to clear it and got back to his original point, unwilling to let the subject drop "Anyway, the point of this story is that I have a long-standing history with foot injuries and sprained ankles, so can you please let me check?"

Magnus just narrowed his eyes at him and muttered "That was sneaky", before taking off his sneaker and extending his socked foot in Alec's direction.

"If something stinks, it's your own fault", he warned.

Alec took Magnus' foot in his hand, settling it on his knee as he rolled down the sock to show his ankle. It didn't look blue, but there was a slight swelling around his ankle bone. He poked at it gently, and Magnus hissed.

"Sorry", Alec whispered, and checked the surrounding area to see how affected Magnus' range of motion was. When Magnus didn't complain about his ministrations, he decided it wasn't a big sprain. Absently, his thumb started rubbing small circles around the hurting skin, and Magnus let out a noise of relief that had Alec's body plenty interested. It was embarrassing how fast his reaction was, and he was sure that Magnus would be positively appalled if he realized where Alec's brain had gone, especially with his foot in such a precarious position, but he looked so relieved, unintentional noises leaving his throat as his body relaxed, the strain of the pain lessening a bit, that Alec couldn’t find it in himself to stop.

He tried to distract himself from his ordeal, so he put all his concentration on keeping his voice even as he said "It doesn't look too serious beyond a small swelling, but I'd suggest icing it anyway, just so it doesn't pain you until it deflates back to normal"

Magnus just nodded, head tilted back, eyes closed, making no attempt to remove his foot from Alec's hands, so he just continued talking "How did you twist it anyway?"

Magnus snorted and replied dazedly "Some idiot on the subway stairs pushed my cello case, and I overcompensated to keep it from falling"

Heaving that heavy case on the train could not be comfortable, Alec thought, thinking of the traffic that went through the subway station.

"Why are you taking the train anyway?", he asked flippantly, and Magnus tilted his head to the side, looking at him like that was the dumbest thing he'd ever said "Because finding a cab driver willing to stop for a guy with a five foot lacquered case in New York city is a pain, and we don't all have cars, Richie Rich"

Alec rolled his eyes because that was the most bullshit excuse Magnus could've thought of "Oh, come on. I know for a fact that you're not hurting for money. We make enough on competition prizes and private concerts that you can afford a car if you wanted to, so what gives?"

Maybe if Alec hadn’t still been holding his foot in his hand, he wouldn't have noticed how Magnus stiffened at that, but he was, and he had, and his interest was piqued as he watched Magnus come up with an answer to give him. He eventually just shrugged dismissively and said in a carefully monotone voice "Guess I just haven't found the time yet".

Maybe it was because Alec noticed Magnus more than he did anything in the world, but he could spot the lie from a mile away. Magnus started to withdraw his foot, probably to instill some sort of emotional distance and change the subject, but Alec held on, forcing Magnus to look up at him with a frown.

"Bullshit", Alec said. "Why are you being weird about this?"

"You're the one holding my foot hostage, and I'm the weird one? You sure know how to keep it interesting, Lightwood"

Alec gnashed his teeth, his last name grating on his nerves just then. He'd always considered Magnus' adamance to use his last name as some backward way of flirting, had come to enjoy ruffling his feathers enough to hear him grind it out in a fit of anger, but now, it just felt like Magnus' fickle attempt at building a wall, at keeping him out, and after the past few weeks, it was frustrating to say the least, which apparently activated his mulish tendencies because he just held on to that foot and looked at Magnus stubbornly.

Magnus let out a disbelieving laugh and said incredulously "Are you seriously going to keep holding my foot until I, what, confess my life story?"

"It's up to you. I've got all day, Bane"

Magnus narrowed his eyes menacingly and asked "Why do you care?"

"Why are you being so secretive?"

"I'm being private. There's a difference, you insensitive brute"

He didn't know why he was pushing so hard. He never pushed people to talk about something they obviously didn't want to discuss. Hell, even his siblings got their ample space from him to work through their issues on their own, but for some reason, his stupid brain just wouldn't let it go. Maybe it was the hint of vulnerability he saw in Magnus' eyes as he avoided the subject completely. Maybe it was the fact that he was so tired of getting tiny crumbs. He wanted to gorge himself on Magnus' story, know the person he had been and the person he was so thoroughly and maybe, just maybe he'd have some chance of making him see him as more, more than an enemy, more than a friend, more than just someone.

Magnus seemed to realize how serious he was, because his defensive defiance vanished in a long puff of breath, and his suspicion was replaced by wariness as he asked him "Seriously, it's just your regular sob story, Lightwood. You don't want to hear this"

Alec just shrugged "I asked"

So, Magnus swallowed roughly and told him about his mom. His person. His only ally in the world and the only family he had growing up. Magnus talked about her like people talked of saints and angels. He told him how she had always been a pillar of strength in Magnus' world, working herself to the bone to make sure he had money to buy his first cello, enough money for classes at the conservatory, enough money for college savings. Magnus' voice tightened as he told him of the sudden bouts of fainting and nausea when he'd been in his junior year of high school, how the tests and checkups hadn't revealed much until they did, and how he witnessed his pillar of strength become a ghost, a frail fragile person that relied on him for even the most elementary of chores. Magnus looked embarrassed as he recounted about the money running out, how the treatments just felt more and more daunting, the expenses more and more ridiculous, how he dipped into his savings until those were empty and the loans started piling up. His mom's only wish had been to see him graduate from college, so despite the deficiencies, Magnus had taken out student loans and went to make his dying mother's wish come true. It was the pain and misery in Magnus' voice as he told him about his mother passing away three months before his college graduation that finally brought tears to Alec's eyes. He wanted to gather him up in his arms and make all of his problems disappear. He wanted to shield him from how cruel and unfair the world had been to him, but realized he couldn't. Magnus had suffered so much at such a young age and there was nothing Alec could do about it.

"So now, I'm stuck with my debts and pent up loans, and they suck out all of my money. And that's all she wrote", Magnus finished, shrugging as if it was completely normal to have gone through what he'd gone through.

Alec's heart ached something fierce, but he knew any attempt he made to be gentle would be misconstrued as pity. Magnus wouldn't understand that Alec's awe had never been so great, because now more than ever, he was sure that he had fallen in love with the strongest bravest soul he'd ever met.

"I'm sorry for your loss", he eventually decided on, a neutral enough statement, and Magnus just waved it away "I told you it was your regular sob story"

"It's still something personal that you trusted me with, so thank you for that. I don't take that lightly"

Magnus looked at him for so long that Alec didn't know what to think, then he removed his foot from Alec's knee and Alec felt the loss of the connection in his abdomen. Abruptly, Magnus leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. It was so sudden, just a chaste press of the lips, but to hear Alec's heart pounding! He didn't know how to react, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as Magnus licked his lips and looked everywhere but at him. "You're not so bad, Alexander", he said in a tight whisper, and his name on those lips felt like an answer to every prayer he'd ever had.

Biting his lip to stifle his burgeoning smile, he straightened, adamant not to be weird about it "I've been telling you that forever, Magnus" and Magnus looked at him thankfully, grateful that Alec wasn't going to make a big fuss about it.

He got off his chair and nodded, feeling a surge of quiet happiness hum through his veins. "Well, get your stuff, then. This Richie Rich is giving you a ride home", he quipped.

Magnus' answering laugh was more than enough.

* * *

“And then, the asshole asked to speak to the manager. As if I didn’t have a big ass sign outside that said Maia’s corner and a nametag as big as his big head pinned to my apron. So, when I said that I was the manager, guess what he did”, Maia’s furious tone sounded over the phone.

“What?”, Magnus said, only half listening as he navigated the halls, avoiding students and peers alike.

“He spit on the counter and left, Magnus”, she shouted in his ear and he winced slightly, “I swear I wanted to shove the no-good potato-headed bow-legged motherfu”

“As colorful and wildly entertaining as that insult was probably working up to be, can we take a raincheck, dear? I’m sorry to have to do this but I’m already late”

“Fine. I’ll just stew until I can drown my anger in margaritas. Nine o’clock, right?”, she asked, confirming their usual Wednesday night plans.

“Sure, and I’ll text you if I’m running late. Alexander wants to do a new piece tonight and we might rework the arrangement a bit”

“Oh, Alexander, is it?”, she teased, her potato-headed customer already forgotten.

“Maia”, he warned, “Don’t make this a thing. It’s purely professional”

It was, nowhere near professional, of course, but Maia did not need details about him undressing Alec with his eyes every time the man looked away. She did not need to know about the pitter patter of his heart every time Alec smiled that rare genuine smile at him, and she did not need to know about their late night talks when the cellos got put away and they just stayed in that room, reminiscing about their childhoods and their first time on stage, trading secrets and chunks of a life they had before their fates led them to each other, and she certainly didn’t need to know about the regular car rides. It was like Magnus had broken a dam the day he told Alec about his mother a couple of weeks ago; He didn’t know why he did it. It was just that Alec had sounded so genuine, his eyes shining with curiosity and understanding, and Magnus had felt like telling him was safe. A weird thought to have about one’s enemy, but Magnus had realized a while ago that the title no longer applied. He tried to remind himself daily that this is the same guy that he had hated not so long ago, but the more they got to know each other, the more he realized that he didn’t really hate Alexander. He had merely hated the fact that he’d never gotten the chance to get to know him by way of something other than poisonous words and thrown out barbs.

As laughter and genuine affection replaced the resentment and bitterness, Magnus had come to see Alec as he was, a loyal friend, a deeply empathic individual and a soulful musician, as well as a little shit. Just because they were friends now, didn’t mean that Alec didn’t love needling him any less. Surprisingly, Magnus loved every aspect he’d come to know, not that he loved Alec, mind you. He wouldn’t go that far. He could admit to himself that he liked him, very much in fact, and was obviously attracted to him. To be honest, Magnus had been attracted to the stupid giant even before their dynamic had changed. And lately, thoughts of debauched things they could be doing to each other on that piano top were a recurrent feature in his fantasies. To say that their jam sessions were a bit uncomfortable due to that would be an understatement.

“Sure, I’ll buy that” Maia was still droning in his ear, “I’m just saying, for someone you say you hate, you’re spending an awful lot of time with him”

“I don’t hate him”. He stopped, then amended “I don’t think I’ve ever hated him, actually. It was just a very intense animosity”

Maia snorted derisively “Very intense is right. Don’t think I didn’t see you google voodoo dolls a time or ten”

Magnus bit his lip to stifle his smile because he _had_ done that when Alec got extensively under his skin. “Anyway, this conversation would go a lot easier with alcohol, so talk later?”

Maia said her goodbyes and hung up, just as he reached room 2C to find Alec already tuning his cello, eyes bright with excitement to make some magic. If that wasn’t enough, the jerk was wearing a grey shirt. Magnus just sighed. This was going to be a long session.

 

As the last note of Edith Piaf’s _La Vie en Rose_ echoed in the silent room, Magnus and Alec looked at each other and smiled. It was perfect. Alec had been right that the harmonization between with the piano would work better, and the moment felt reminiscent of that first time they played together, months ago, as Alec hit a few keys on the piano, humming gently to the song.

“That was really good”, he said, smile evident in his voice.

“It was”, Magnus agreed, smiling back. He checked the time and winced. He was going to be late.

“However, we’re going to need to stop because I need to go”, he said, already gathering his stuff.

“Okay, let me pull my car around and I’ll drive you”

“Oh, thank you but no need. I’m not going home just yet”

It took him a few seconds to notice the silence, and when he did, he turned around to find Alec fidgeting unusually in his seat, rubbing his hands together like he was seeing them for the first time. He cleared his throat and said, voice surprisingly tight “Hot date?”

Magnus snorted and teased “Did you just say ‘hot date’? What are you, forty?”, but Alec didn’t smile. He just shrugged and kept on looking at his hands. _What was up with him tonight?_

“No, just hanging out with friends. It’s something we try to do every Wednesday”

If Magnus had looked closely, he would’ve seen the way Alec’s limbs unfurled and his breath whooshed out of him, but he was too busy putting his stuff away, so all he heard was a “That must be nice” that sounded much more chipper, and Alec like.

 “How about you? Any plans?”

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here a bit longer”

“Don’t you dare touch that arrangement, Alexander. We finally had it right”, Magnus warned, straightening up from his bent down position.

Alec chuckled “No, I won’t touch the arrangement. I don’t know, I just don’t feel like going home yet”

Magnus looked at him carefully, looking for any signs that Alec was feeling sad or morose and found none. The man was talking as if he was commenting on the weather.

“Why is that?”, he insisted.

Alec shrugged and said off-handedly “The silence remains the same? What difference do four walls make?”

Magnus’ heart ached, because he knew that as nonchalant and blasé as he sounded, Alec must be lonely. “What about your siblings?”

“They have exams coming up, so I don’t like bothering them midweek”. Magnus was sure that his brother and sister would love to hear from him. In fact, when he and Alec had met the two of them for a late dinner after they’d gotten so caught up in a piece one night that they forgot to eat, Isabelle and Jace had looked at their older brother like he was the best thing since sliced bread. It was painfully obvious how much they loved him and looked up to him, because the two of them were like puppies, giving him wide inquisitive eyes like he held all the secrets of the universe. However, Magnus figured that it wasn’t his place to comment, so he tried again “Friends?”

Alec just looked at him with an arched brow and smirked “My my, are you worried about me, Magnus? Don’t worry, I can keep myself plenty entertained. Go have fun with your friends”, but Magnus wasn’t fooled by the smirk anymore. He knew Alec enough by now to recognize the armor he put on when something bothered or unnerved him and he wanted to move off the subject.

Magnus just thought about him sitting here among the shiny trinkets and lacquered instruments, alone and isolated from the world, steeping in the silence and just couldn’t handle it. He sighed and nodded at him “Come on, Lightwood. You’re coming with me”

Alec just looked at him confused, so Magnus repeated himself, adding “If you can keep yourself entertained in an empty room, then you can keep yourself entertained with a bottle of beer or a glass of wine or whatever fussy drink you prefer, and hang out with my friends”

“I don’t want to impose”

“I asked”, and the reminder of his own words spoken back to him was apparently enough for Alec because he nodded and gathered his stuff.

* * *

Maia and Simon were staring. He understood that Alec was a gorgeous human being and that his two schmucks of best friends weren’t probably used to seeing such chiseled features in nature, but it was getting ridiculous.

After all, this wasn’t their first time meeting Alexander. Simon was dating his little sister for fuck’s sake, and yet, they were gaping so wide Magnus could swear a fly just strolled out of Maia’s mouth.

“So, did that customer come back, Maia?” he asked, hoping to snap the two embarrassments he called friends out of their stupor.

It worked slightly, because Maia turned back to him, asking “Hm, what?”

Magnus rolled his eyes and asked the question again, and the diversion worked because fire sparked in her eyes as she launched into a detailed retelling of that morning’s story, full on with theatrical hand gestures and explicit content.

Simon was still slack jawed so Magnus delivered a well-aimed stomp of his boot to Simon’s foot, then widened his eyes in warning when he got a disgruntled look for his troubles.

As they recovered from their little visit to La la land, Simon and Maia got into their usual routine of talking over each other, squabbling like an old married couple, providing ample entertainment for his exhausted brain. They made sure to include Alexander in their stories, filling him in on any inside joke necessary for maximum comprehension of their convoluted tales, and while he wasn’t rude or standoffish, Magnus could tell that something wasn’t right, and he couldn’t understand what.

They had driven there like they usually spent their car rides, passing the aux privileges as they tried to find the most obscure songs in the history of forever that the other didn’t recognize, passing the time by feeding their bloodthirst for competition in friendly harmless ways. Alec had been his cheery self, or as cheery as Alec can be, and yet, the moment they stepped foot in the Hunter’s moon and caught sight of Maia and Simon, his entire mood had flipped over.

The others probably thought he was a quiet person in general, but Magnus had become so attuned to his mood that he knew in his gut that something was off. Unwilling to let the subject drop, he nudged Alec and motioned to the bar, telling the rest that they were getting more drinks.

Alec followed him stoically, still silent, and as Magnus tried to get the bartender’s attention, Alec surprised him by saying “How do you usually get home from here?”

Magnus looked at him questioningly, not understanding why Alec was asking “I usually take a cab. Why?”

Alec nodded and looked down at his shoes, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he stammered “I- I think I’m just going to leave, then”

“What? Why?” Magnus demanded, beyond positive that something was seriously wrong. The guy had just been telling him about how he didn’t want to go home.

Alec shrugged nonetheless, and said, slightly shouting to be overheard over the bustle of the bar “I just, I’m not in the right frame of mind to party, okay?”

For some reason, the off-handed excuse pissed Magnus off more than anything. He put his hand down, no longer interested in drink orders and looked at Alec head on. “No, not okay. What does that even mean? If you have a problem hanging out with me and my friends, you can just say so, Alec”

Alec, in his defense, looked startled by the words, quickly putting his hands up “Woah, don’t put words in my mouth, Magnus. I did not insinuate any of that”

“Then what am I supposed to understand? Unless you only want to be friends behind closed doors, but no, that can’t be right”, he exclaimed, fully worked up and spitting mad “Because we hung out with your siblings and everything was dandy then, so it must be only my friends that you have an issue with”.

Alec looked like he was about to argue, but Magnus was hurt and confused by his sudden change of heart that he didn’t bother listening to any excuses. He stepped up to him and poked him in the center of his chest “What? Are they not uppity enough for you, Lightwood? Or was this whole attitude of yours a charade, and now you’re done pretending?”

Magnus knew he’d gone too far the moment the words left his mouth, but before he could apologize or take them back, Alec just shook his head and muttered a barely heard “I can’t do this right now” and moved to leave the bar. Magnus followed him, calling his name because his heart was beating out of his chest. He needed to fix this. He didn’t want to think of what letting Alec cool off would mean. What if he called off their deal? What if he no longer wanted anything to do with him?

They made it outside before Magnus got close enough to Alec’s sleeve and pulled him to a stop, and he wasn’t ready for Alec’s outburst as he turned to him and unleashed “You know what? You’re right. I’m done pretending. I’m done pretending like it’s okay that we take swipes at each other the moment something goes wrong. I’m done pretending like it doesn’t fucking kill me that every word out of my mouth is somehow the wrong one and that I can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to you. I’m done pretending like I hate you for the sake of crumbs of your attention. I’m done pretending like it doesn’t faze me when I have to play the role of the villain because for some reason, that was the only part you allowed me to play in your life. I’m done pretending like I don’t care, like my soul didn’t shrivel inside every time you mistook my reaching out to you for an attempt to fuck you over”

His eyes were shining in the lamppost light, and he was heaving like he’d run a marathon and Magnus felt like he’d been run over by a bus. The raging emotions visible on Alec’s face were nothing compared to the hurricane Magnus was feeling inside, as words and gestures and emotions rearranged themselves to paint a picture that he’d been too blind to see. He didn’t know what to feel beyond a pressure that was building in his chest, didn’t know what to say to ease the kaleidoscope of expressions that were going through Alexander’s face before his features settled on a morose defeated stance as he continued, his voice practically a whisper, no longer ringing with the power of his conviction “And I can’t pretend like I can just hang out with you and your girlfriend and not feel like my heart is caving inside”

The pressure reached its limit, because the only thing that made sense for Magnus to do was to grab Alec’s collar and bring his head down as he raised his own and slam their mouths together. The unexpected fumbling of the moment made their teeth gnash before their lips took over, cushioning the space between them. The myriad of sensations that went through him just from that minimal contact was more powerful than anything Magnus had ever felt before. He spoke against Alec’s lips “She’s not my girlfriend, and you don’t have to pretend. You never had to pretend. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to”

Alec leaned back and put his hand on Magnus’ neck, brushing his cheek with the other and whispered desperately “I don’t need you to be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just need you to be here, to want this, because if we’re going to go back to the insults and the hatred tomorrow, then I’d rather you tell me now, because I don’t think I can take it, Magnus. Please tell me now”

Magnus pecked his lips, unable to stop his lips from reaching for Alec’s as he said “No more. No more going backwards. I want you” and Alec exhaled a “Thank fuck” against him before he owned his mouth.

Magnus lost sensation of the world around him as Alec’s lips caressed his own, teeth nipping, tongues tangling, hands roving as they put on a show for anyone standing outside the bar. He was too far gone to care. Deep down, he’d wanted this man for so long that nothing else mattered. Alec backed him up against the wall and started peppering kisses over his jaw, then his throat, stealing quick nips at the lobe of his ear as he went. Magnus felt unhinged, as his own mouth sucked and nibbled on Alec’s neck, sure to leave a mark but just unwilling to care. It wasn’t until he started pulling at Alec’s shirt that Alec pulled back, chuckling, holding Magnus’ hands by the wrists as he said “As much as I like where you were going with that, I don’t want us to get arrested for public nudity tonight”

Magnus whined and leaned his head on the wall behind him, and Alec just looked at him dazedly before saying “God, you’re beautiful” and kissing him again, chastely. He dropped Magnus’ wrists and stared at him, as if debating something, and Magnus wanted to participate in what was sure to be a riveting conversation, but his braincells had all travelled south, and he needed a few more seconds to get his bearings about him.

Alec’s internal discussion must’ve come to fruition during that time because he suddenly said “Come home with me” and Magnus just smiled and said, because he had to mess with him first “Just like that? You’re not even going to buy me dinner first, Alexander? And they say romance is dead”

Alec looked down, properly chastised and just as Magnus was about to tell him he was kidding, he looked up with an arched brow “There’s an In-N-Out on the way. Drive thru is the best I can do”

Magnus burst out laughing, hitting him with the back of his hand “You ass. I actually thought you felt bad”

“Hey, I could’ve said Chick-A-Filet” and Magnus wrinkled his nose. Alec just nodded and said “Thought so. At least this way, we can get animal style fries”

“Oh yes, now you’re talking”, Magnus sighed dreamily.

“How do you sound more excited for the fries than actually going home with me?”

“Well, do you have animal style fries at home, genius?”

“No”

“Thought so. Now, get a move on. I want fries. Oooh, and a milkshake too”

* * *

Alec parked the car at the curb, having no recollection of how he’d actually managed to drive home in the first place. He’d been on autopilot, only cognizant enough not to crash into a pole because he had precious cargo in the vehicle, and no, he wasn’t talking about the junk food. A slurp sounded to his left and he looked over to see Magnus draining the last of his chocolate milkshake, looking relaxed and calm, gazing out the window. He nodded at the houses on their left and said “Which one is yours?”

Alec pointed to his place, and Magnus let out a low whistle and nodded approvingly “That is a beautiful house, Alexander”

Alec couldn’t really take credit for the beautiful brownstone. He hadn’t built it, renovated it or even bought it for that matter. His grandfather had left it for him in his will, probably because he knew Alec would take care of it well.

They exited the car, Magnus holding the bags of In-N-Out protectively, like a child, and walked toward the door, a strange tension building along with their steps. When Alec had invited Magnus over, he honestly hadn’t done it with any ulterior motives other than not wanting their night to end. He hoped, he wanted, but he didn’t expect anything to happen, especially after he’d released three years’ worth of pent up emotions on the sidewalk, undeniably changing the dynamic between them.

Magnus seemed to take it in stride for the most part, but Alec was still wary. He didn’t know how to leave this zone of awkwardness he’d put himself into, and it was making him antsy.

They reached the front door, and as he fit his key through the lock, he asked Magnus if he’d notified his friends, and Magnus nodded stoically, not uttering a single word. This was getting ridiculous. He should address the situation, talk about what it meant that he’d spewed all those words out and Magnus had still come home with him.

They walked in, and as he closed the door, he heard something hit the floor before Magnus was right there, picking up where they left off in front of the bar. This time, he was the one backed up against the door, as Magnus’ lips sipped and nibbled at his own, branding him indefinitely.

Alec had fantasized about kissing Magnus so many times, thinking up all the different possible scenarios and locations, dreaming of angry biting kisses and tender romantic explorations, and yet somehow, the real thing managed to exceed his wildest expectations. Magnus’ kisses were a reckoning across his soul, little infinitesimal moments of pure happiness that were wreaking havoc upon his heart, clouding his thoughts and making him revert back to a primal state of want and need and lust.

He moved them across the landing, through the hall and into his bedroom, their lips still clinging to each other, their hands roving, groping and caressing. Their shoes and jackets left a trail across the floor, and as they reached the bedroom doorway, Magnus’ tongue did something that nearly short-circuited Alec’s brain, a moan wrenching out of him. He untangled himself from Magnus and nodded at the bed “Fuck, I need a minute or this is going to be over before it’s even started”

Magnus himself was breathing harshly, chest rising and falling as he sat on the edge of the bed and watched Alec with dark hooded eyes.

Alec swallowed roughly, telling himself to slow down, not to overwhelm Magnus with the intensity of what was coursing through him. “You want to keep going?”, he asked hesitantly, and Magnus just arched a brow at him and teased “Well, I sure didn’t come here for the fries. Do you want to keep going?”

Alec nodded vigorously and Magnus chuckled softly, and said “Well, why don’t you come closer, then?”

Alec did as he was told; stepping closer to him until their knees touched and Magnus could reach enough to untuck his shirt from his pants. He started undressing him diligently as Alec leaned down in, claiming his mouth in another kiss, stoking the fire again. When a button proved too stubborn, Alec muttered against his soft swollen lips “Just rip it, I don’t care” and Magnus leaned back and said urgently “Don’t you dare! I love this shirt”.

Alec laughed, feeling giddy and said teasingly “Oh, really? I want to hear more about this. Is it just this shirt that gets you going, or do you have a list of outfits?”

Magnus groaned even as he leaned in for another kiss and said “Smugness isn’t attractive, you know”

“Isn’t it? Because unless you somehow managed to store a can of coke in your pants on our ride here, I don’t think I’m doing too badly”, Alec replied, pressing his smiling lips to Magnus’ neck and then added in a whisper “Don’t worry, I have identical shirts”

Magnus sighed and muttered “Thank you for being a weirdo” before gripping the sides of the shirt and ripping it open, remaining buttons flying out everywhere, pinging softly against the hardwood floor.

The rest of their clothes were divested of pretty quickly after that, and Alec settled on top of Magnus, hands on either side of him on the bed, and started mapping his body with his lips. Touching Magnus was the most addictive feeling he’d ever encountered in his life. He wanted to consume him, take that warm essence that was intrinsically Magnus and inhale it into himself so he may never be cold again. Magnus’ hands skated over the planes of his back, equally immersed in their own exploration, and Alec couldn’t fathom anything better than this.

As his lips traversed the planes of Magnus’ stomach, pressing kissed to the corners of his hips and reaching a certain area, Magnus arched off the bed and harshly swore “God”

“Well, it’s actually Alec but whatever works for you, babe”

Magnus groaned and crossed his arms over his eyes and muttered “Of course, you choose now to make gross dad jokes. Why am I even surprised at this point?”, and Alec laughed, pressing tiny kisses all over Magnus’ thighs and whispering “sorry” all over his skin. He wanted him crazy with lust, mad with want, so he stayed away from a certain area, merely teasing and retreating, even as Magnus whined under him every time he got a bit closer. After his fifth fake out, Magnus ground out between clenched teeth “Stop goofing around and touch me like you mean it, dammit”

Alec lost it, burying his face in Magnus’ thigh as his whole body shook with mirth as he wheezed “I want that line printed on a T-shirt”

His heart felt like it was about to split open. He’d never had so much fun in bed with someone. Hell, he’d never had so much fun with someone, period. He’d known it for a long time but actually living through moments where it was confirmed in his mind’s eye that he and Magnus fit in every way still baffled him. He got himself slightly under control and put Magnus out of his misery, turning his slight chuckle into a loud moan as Alec used his mouth to drive him crazy in ways that they could both enjoy.

He wanted to blow Magnus’ mind, _pun intended_ , and as the night progressed and they took turns bringing each other to the height of ecstasy, Alec couldn’t help but feel like they were still in that practice room, creating magic with their hands, their bodies instruments and performers, plucking strings and moving fingers to wring the most amount of pleasure, drenched with feeling, their moans and sounds the notes to a symphony no words could contain. It was the most alive he’d ever felt.

* * *

He woke up in increments, the haze of sleep giving way to a dichotomy of freezing cold on his back, and beckoning warmth at his front, and as Alec opened his eyes blearily, he found his nose buried in dark hair that smelled of sandalwood and smiled. Magnus had hogged all the covers, and then conveniently backed up into him in his snug cocoon; leaving Alec’s bare back to the elements of early spring in New York. He looked so ridiculously endearing, face solemn and at peace, and Alec felt like he could live in this moment forever.

How many times had he dreamt of waking up with Magnus in his arms? How many different times had he fantasized about this exact moment, only to wake up and find cold empty sheets and an unbothered pillow? He buried his face in Magnus’ neck, nestling in thoroughly and ignoring the cold on his back because there was no way he was going to disturb Magnus’ sleep to get the covers back; or maybe he would, as he peppered tiny kisses on the nape of Magnus’ neck, rejoicing in this indescribable moment of happiness.

Magnus stirred lazily, humming quietly before his scratchy sleepy voice sounded in the quiet room “Good morning”

 “Morning”, Alec replied, still plying his way with kisses.

“I like that”, Magnus said dreamily, and Alec smiled against his neck. He loved him so much, his heart was fit to burst.

They remained in a comfortable silence, just holding each other and breathing the same air, until Magnus said “Tell me something I don’t know”

Alec felt the smile on his face, because it was so Magnus to start a conversation with the most random inquiries “What?” he demanded.

“Tell me something about you that I don’t know”, Magnus repeated, turning his head and looking at Alec behind him with a lazy smirk.

Magnus considered the question, and settled on another confession since he seemed to be excelling at those as of late. He blurted it out before he could chicken out “I made your bow”

Magnus looked confused for a few moments before recognition crossed his face, and he whispered “No”

Alec laughed at his baffled expression and nodded “Yes, I made it from scratch”

Magnus turned on his side so he could face him entirely and said “Rewind. What? How? Why? Stop laughing, you idiot. Tell me”, he shook him slightly as Alec tried to stop laughing at this entirely too adorable creature in his bed.

“Well, I have a knack for woodworking”

“Don’t I know it”, Magnus quipped, and Alec snorted loudly before shaking his head “Well, I make my own bows. It’s really soothing when you’re stressed about a competition or a performance. It sounds silly, but when I make them, it’s like I’m taking back a little control, because I’m creating one of the variables of the performance, and I can rest assured that that bow is going to be sturdy enough, good enough, and somehow, it makes me more in charge”. He noticed Magnus’ expression and felt embarrassment heat his cheeks “Anyway, it’s stupid”.

“No, it’s not stupid at all. It’s just… You’re amazing, you know that?” Magnus said reverently, and Alec felt a lump get stuck in his throat. He tried to clear it and continued “I remember your first performance, and how defeated you looked after it, and I… I don’t know, I didn’t like that look on your face, so I carved your name into a freshly made bow and left it in the room. I just wanted to see you regain your spirits again, I guess”

“You know that I thought Maryse gave it to me all this time, right?”

Alec laughed “Yes. She asked me about it once and I played dumb. I didn’t want her to tell you about it”

Magnus just gazed at him for a few moments before setting his hand against Alec’s cheek and sighing “We wasted so much time. _I_ wasted so much time hanging on to prejudice and stupid squabbles and…”

“Hey”, Alec interrupted, scooting forward on the pillow to lean his forehead against Magnus’. “We are exactly where we need to be, when we needed to be. There’s no point dwelling on past regrets”

Magnus smiled his bright beautiful smile; his eyes crinkling at the edges and tilted his head to peck his lips. “You’re more generous than I am”, he whispered against Alec’s lips, and Alec replied with the only truth he knew “Nah, I just want you too much to care”

They spent a lazy morning in bed, stealing kisses and enjoying each other’s company, and Alec felt the urge to pinch himself several times just to be sure that it wasn’t just some elaborate dream his exhausted brain had conjured up. Around ten, Magnus remembered that he had rehearsal in an hour, and jumped around the room looking for his clothes that were strewn about. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, by the way. Where are you rehearsing?”

“What do you mean?”, Alec asked, still lying in bed, watching him flit about the room.

Magnus was shoving his feet into his boots, hoping around on one leg like a crazy person as he panted out “Well, The Rotary is coming up in, like, a week and I’m using 2C nearly every day and I never see your name on the board”. He looked up at Alec with a smirk and said “I know I made that rule about never discussing our competitions and rehearsals, but I feel like that ship has sailed along with the no personal stuff rule”

“Oh, I’m not going up for the Rotary this year”, Alec said flippantly, unaware that he’d just dropped a bomb in the room.

Magnus dropped his leg to the floor and looked at him, shocked “What? Why not? You’ve never missed the Rotary”

“Well, I actually missed the deadline for registration”

“Your mom usually takes care of these things”

“Yes, but I asked her not to enter my name this year, and by the time I changed my mind, it was too late”

“Changed your mind? What are you talking about, Alexander?”

Alec chuckled because he was messing this all up and sat up in bed, patting the bedspread next to him in invitation. Magnus moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still looking very confused, and Alec tried to explain “I’ve been going through a tough time lately. Well, not lately, but do you remember the charity benefit a few months ago?”

Magnus nodded mutely, still looking unsure. Alec said “Well, up until that point, that night was supposed to be my wave goodbye to the industry”. He then explained the kind of pressure he’d been feeling and how it had soured his entire perspective, and how playing together that night had changed his mind, making him seek Magnus out.

Magnus’ face remained a blank face throughout the whole tirade, and Alec felt a little apprehension simmer in his gut as he concluded “And now, I can finally feel like I’m in love with my music again, but I still don’t want to push too hard with competitions and fall right back down the rabbit hole. I have enough savings to manage staying off the circuit for a while, and I actually think I’m getting more interested in composing. I’ve been tinkering with some pieces lately. Anyway, that’s why I’m not playing the Rotary next week”

Magnus was quiet for so long that Alec started getting worried. When he did speak, his voice sounded tight, his face still unusually blank “What were you planning to do after you quit?”

“I hadn’t really thought that much ahead”, Alec confessed, “But I was thinking of going to London for a while to get my head on straight”

“So, you were just going to leave”, Magnus said evenly, and it wasn’t a question.

Alec could feel a frown notching between his brows as he tried to puzzle out Magnus’ mood “I guess. Are you okay?”

Magnus’ face had acquired an unnatural paleness as he stared at the wall. He nodded mutely, then sprung off the bed in a hurry, fitting his other shoe on and declaring hastily “I need to go. I’m late for rehearsal”

Alec knew something was wrong. He knew Magnus enough to sense that something about what Alec had said bothered him a great deal. He was always botching up their conversations. It was his hidden superpower at this point.

“Magnus, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any of this earlier”, he tried to salvage, “I figured that it wasn’t worth mentioning since it’s no longer an issue”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me. I get why. I just need to get to rehearsal. We’ll talk more later, yeah?”

He wasn’t looking at him. He wasn’t looking at him and Alec wanted to shout at him to stop and look him in the eyes so he could figure out what was going through his mind right then. His apprehension grew stronger, strands of doubt and insecurities rearing their ugly heads to whisper to him of undeserved happiness and realities that were too good to be true.

Magnus didn’t give him time to figure it out. He just threw a hasty goodbye over his shoulder as he blazed out of the house like it was catching on fire. The door clicked closed behind him and Alec was left with nothing but the eerie silence where laughter had just resided, and a gaping hole in his chest that was growing bigger by the second, telling him that Magnus may have just slipped out of his fingers, before he could ever fully grasp him.

* * *

The phone was ringing. It had been ringing on and off for a while now. He didn’t need to get off the couch to know who it was. Alec had been calling since he left his house three days ago. Magnus knew he should pick up. He should at the very least let Alexander know that he wasn’t lying in a ditch somewhere, but picking up the phone would mean explaining why he had been avoiding him, why he would probably continue to avoid him, and he just couldn’t. He couldn’t find words to make Alec understand why he was absolutely petrified, positively frozen at the possibility of being with him.

So, there he sat in his living room, slowly fusing with the couch. He’d foregone rehearsal this morning, as he had for the past two days, unwilling to brave the halls of the Institute. He knew he was being a coward, but if life had taught Magnus one thing, it was that being a coward was sometimes the only way to survive. He didn’t think he could go through more heartache, more pain in his life and come out unscathed. He’d let himself go with Alec lately, completely disregarding every warning his heart had put up as it fell harder and deeper into an abyss it had already been close to, but it was time to shore up his defenses and stop following the damn thing. His heart was a reckless wild card that never learnt from past mistakes, forever flinging itself into danger, unable to comprehend why Magnus often pulled it back. Magnus merely wanted to survive. He was quite alright with that.

A key turned in the lock and Magnus’ head popped off the armrest with a confused “What the hell?” as he watched his door open to let a disgruntled Maia in. She took one look at him and groaned out loud. “Oh God, it’s worse than I thought”, she muttered, kicking the door shut with her heel as she walked in, throwing her purse on the coffee table before kicking his feet off the couch and taking their place.

“Hey”, Magnus complained, and she just gave him a speaking glance and took a look around the room, taking in the takeout containers and dirty dishes in the sink, then settling on the muted TV that was playing the Food Network. That last detail made her turn to him with a sad sympathetic face. She knew the Food Network was his heartache remedy. Except, Magnus didn’t deserve sympathy. If anything, he was the one hurting Alec because of his hot and cold routine, and he hated it, but he also couldn’t seem to stop.

“Why are you here?” he croaked, because he hadn’t really used his voice for anything in the past three days. He didn’t even think he’d said anything to the delivery guy, just nodded.

“Well, I’ve had Simon nagging in my ear for ten minutes straight about how someone should check up on you but he has exams so it has to be me, yadda yadda”.

“Simon?”

“Let’s see. He’s dating a Lightwood. I’ll take into consideration that you have not had to use braincells for the past few days and give you three guesses”

Magnus’ heart ached. He was such an ass. Alec must’ve been going crazy to be desperate enough to ask Simon for help. He just groaned and rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms. Why did everything have to be so hard?

Maia settled her hand on his knee and shook him a little, her voice going soft as if she knew that he felt on the edge of a breakdown. Well, an even bigger breakdown!

“You want to tell me what happened?”, she asked.

“Not really”, he sulked, and she shook him harder. “Come on, you don’t want me to send exam stressed Simon over. He’s a beast and you know it”

Magnus just glared at her because threatening anyone with an exam stressed Simon was a low blow. He heaved a sigh and figured he might as well, so he started from the top, explaining how they’d become friends in the first place, with Alec’s deal, then the hours they spent together and how Magnus’ feelings got murkier and harder to wade through. He explained what happened on Wednesday, going light on the details because he wanted his one night of heaven with Alexander to remain wholly his, then finally that disastrous Thursday morning and how he panicked and fled as soon as Alec had told him about quitting and moving to fucking London.

By the time he was done recounting the whole tale, Maia had raided the meager contents of the fridge and poured them each a glass of wine that had somehow magically appeared there. He could swear there wasn’t any wine left in the house. He could also swear that it was merely three in the afternoon, but if telling your best friend how much of an idiot you’ve been didn’t merit some alcohol, what did?

Maia sipped her wine and looked at him with perceptive eyes that saw too much for his own good. When he was done pouring his heart out, she just sat there, silently putting her thoughts in order, then asked evenly “Alright, I want you to answer me this, and honestly, because I know your tell when you lie, so I’ll know if you’re giving me some bullshit answer”

“I do not have a tell”, he denied.

“You do”, she replied emphatically and pointed her wine glass at him, “I’m not going to tell you what it is, and you’re stalling”

“Fine”, he ground out.

“What was your first thought when he told you he’d been thinking of quitting and moving away?”

How she was able to pinpoint the exact source of his panic, he didn’t know. She usually had these semi psychic abilities to nick out the heart of any matter. It was eerie and fairly disconcerting when you were the target of her detailed psychoanalysis. The problem was, she was absolutely right. It had been the first thought that crossed his mind when Alec had said he was quitting that had freaked him out so badly, because it had been so unfiltered, so unapologetically raw, and entirely worrying. “That I wouldn’t survive it”, he answered in a whisper, voice cracking on the words.

“And why is that?”, she asked, voice clinically detached, and Magnus glared at her because she was pushing the smug shrink persona quite a bit.

He got an arched brow for his troubles as she waited for his answer.

“Because I love him”, he whispered, and she leaned closer and said “What’s that?”

He tugged on one of her beautiful curls and she smiled. “Alright, so you love him and didn’t want to be apart from him. Since he is _not_ in fact moving away across the pond, why are we drinking wine and watching the Food Network on a Saturday at three pm?”

She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand how daunting it was to think of someone and realize that you would not be able to survive without them. She didn’t understand how weak and vulnerable that made you. She didn’t understand the panic that sets in when you realize that your happiness is wholly reliant on another person’s presence in your life.

He didn’t even know when it had happened. He was supposed to hate him, and yet, when he thought of him going away, he realized that even before getting to know the wonderful person that he was these past months, he still would not have been able to bear it. He had him so far under his skin that the thought of going through life without his infuriating smirk and stupid one-liners felt like a bleak pointless reality. It was terrifying, because if Magnus knew one thing about life, it was its unpredictability. He’d seen it firsthand, watching his mother fade into nothingness. He didn’t know what tomorrow had in stock. He didn’t know if Alec would still feel the urge to leave, and he didn’t want to be left behind. He was so sick and tired of being left behind.

“Because what if he feels like leaving again? What if tomorrow, he wakes up and realizes that he still needs a fresh take on life and jets off to London. What then?”, he asked, voicing his fears.

“Okay, and what if he doesn’t? What if tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, he wakes up perfectly content to be with you and share a life together? What then?”, she countered, her imperial brow still arched defiantly.

His heart hurt, because he wanted nothing more. He wanted nothing more than to believe such a reality was within his reach, one where they laughed and bickered and loved their way through life, because if that night had been an interlude, then it would be a beautiful adventure, but he was just so scared.

Maia patted his knee and adopted a serious expression “I don’t know what I would do without my mom”, she started and Magnus chugged his drink and moved to get up because he didn’t need this talk. Maia tightened her hold on his knee and said “No, listen”

She looked him straight in the eyes, relaying the importance of what she was about to say “I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been to see her go through that. I can’t even comprehend the amount of pain and heartbreak it wreaks to see your parent go like that, and my friend, you are one of the strongest people I know to have gone through that whole ordeal with a smile for her sake until her last moment, but you have been drifting ever since”

Magnus could feel the tears pool in his eyes, because Maia had never spoken about his mother’s death other than to recall funny memories of her when she was healthy. She skated by the subject all the time, probably sensing how much he disliked it.

“And in the months that followed, you were inconsolable, and I didn’t know how to reach you. Then, Maryse Lightwood offered you a sponsorship”. She paused and got a soft smile on her face “I remember you calling me after your first day and ranting for an hour about Alec Lightwood. You were so mad about his attitude and how he snubbed you, while I was smiling like a lunatic on the other side of the phone, because it was the first time that I’d heard some sort of inflection in your voice since she died. I didn’t know it was about him, and maybe it wasn’t, but it was something that made you _feel_ , and I was so grateful to this complete stranger, mainly for pissing you off”, she teased and they both chuckled, because he still remembered his fury that first day. It felt like so long ago now. “And yet, you were still drifting slightly, unwilling to get attached to anything or anyone”.

He opened his mouth to argue that point because surely that couldn’t be the case, but Maia spoke over him “You have lived here for three years, and you still haven’t unpacked”.

“I’ve been busy”, he muttered and she snorted derisively “I have seen you binge five seasons of Brooklyn Nine-Nine on this very couch in four days. You’ve been stalling”, and Magnus didn’t say anything because of course, she was right.

She went on, her smug expression telling him that she knew she made a valid point “You’ve been so scared of putting down roots again, only to have them torn out by someone or something, that it’s like you’re living life already strapped into the front seat of a gateway car, and while that is a very justified emotion, I don’t think you’ve factored other people into it. Now, here is this guy who’s making you want these things that you’ve decided weren’t in your lot in life, and I bet it’s very daunting, but Magnus, that’s _life_. It’s a fickle bitch, but if you’re going through it anyway, would you want to settle for something as basic as surviving, or would you actually want to live it?”

She seemed to realize that she had given him a lot to think about because she didn’t wait for an answer, merely looked around the apartment one last time and said “Tell you what. If you promise you’ll make it to rehearsal today, I’ll tell Simon you’re okay and to give you some space, okay?”

She got up and put her purse on her shoulder, already striding for the door when he realized “Wait, I don’t have practice space today. I can’t”

Maia smiled at him as she reached the door and leaned against it, breaking his heart and pulling it together with a single sentence “Apparently, someone has been booking the space for you every day, regardless”. She put her hand over her heart and fake swooned, batting her eyelashes dramatically, then straightened and pointed her finger at him “Get your shit together, Bane” then left, just as abruptly as she came.

Magnus leaned his head back on the couch and looked at the ceiling. _Well, fuck_!

* * *

The audience were on their feet, clapping furiously. Magnus was panting, still catching his breath after that grueling piece. He’d nailed it. He knew in his bones that he’d nailed it. Even the usually stoic judges were looking slightly impressed, and the sight should’ve filled him with giddiness, except all he felt was a slight ping across his heart where elation should’ve registered. He bowed to the crowd, then lugged his cello off the stage, where Maryse was waiting for him, smiling gently and congratulating him on a well-done performance. He merely nodded as she raved and tried to guess how well he’d rank based on the other contestants’ performances this morning, his head already elsewhere.

It’d been a week. He hadn’t seen Alexander nor heard his voice in a week. A few months ago, the idea would’ve sounded like heaven, but Magnus was currently the most miserable sob in existence. Here he was, having just finished one of his best performances at the freaking Rotary, standing in a renovated cathedral in Madrid of all places, and all he wanted was to hole up in that little practice room in chilly New York and mess around on the strings with Alexander Lightwood. Love was a cruel witch.

Once he had realized how he felt about Alec, stopping his brain from thinking up the words had been akin to stopping water from seeping through fingers, pointless and entirely impossible. He went through the day in a haze of existence, sure that there was a sign above his head that read “I love Alexander Lightwood and I am miserable without him”. Of course, he could have reached out, but between final rehearsals and flights and late minute travel arrangements, he didn’t want a rushed apology that didn’t begin to atone for how he’d acted. Not to mention the irrefutable worrying fact that was still plaguing him with devastating possibilities, which was that Alec had stopped calling. His incessant attempts to reach out had stopped sometime on Saturday night, and not a peep had been heard from him since. It caused a tight ball to lodge in Magnus’ abdomen, and major strain on his battered wary heart.

Maryse was still talking, unaware that Magnus had drifted off in the middle of her tirade, but then they had to move off the backstage area to allow for the rest of the contestants to set up and she clapped him on the back and told him that there were some important people she wanted to introduce him to. Unenthusiastic, but unwilling to forego his career plans entirely, Magnus nodded and followed her to the lobby area where the people who didn’t feel like watching the entire day of competition were congregated, sipping expensive champagne and talking amongst themselves.

Magnus followed Maryse to a group of people who looked entirely too excited to meet him. They congratulated him on his performance and started discussing the reasons why he chose to play Gaspar Cassadó in Madrid of all things. When Magnus had chosen the piece months ago, he’d done it with the technique in mind. He’d wanted to showcase his skills to the max while also playing a piece he felt was more than just a mechanical clinical showcase. He’d wanted something soulful, and if he was honest with himself, he’d wanted something that would impress Alec, at the time still believing that he would be there by his side, needling him and irritating him and making this whole affair less dull than it was turning out to be, but as he had stood on that stage today and poured his heart out into it, he realized the somber tone of the piece was exactly representative of how he was feeling. He was glad he’d chosen it. Unwittingly, his heartbreak had taken his performance to a new level.

As he mused about the unfairness of it, donning a slight smile as he half listened to these people that he did not know at all dissect his performance to pieces, he perused the room, looking for some escape or outlet to stop his thoughts from churning so much. He almost missed him at first, standing by the doors that led to a wide balcony, looking so tangible and familiar but so very much different from how he normally did at these affairs. He was wearing a dark blue wool sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers; his hands forever stuffed in his pockets as he gazed at him from underneath his lashes, an ever-present smirk painted on that beautiful face. He looked wary and shy, but also determined and confident, and that combination summarized what Alexander was so thoroughly that it nearly took Magnus’ breath away. He broke away from the group mid-conversation, unwilling to wait even a second to feel Alec’s presence near him. As he walked away, he heard Maryse’s confused “Alec?” as she evidently caught sight of her son, who was now standing still, waiting for Magnus with wide cautious eyes.

Magnus reached him in seconds, and didn’t stop until his arms were around him, hugging him tightly across his back, face smooching into his shoulder as he was finally able to breathe again. Alec’s arms slowly went around him, hugging him back fiercely as he buried his nose in Magnus’ neck and spoke against him “Hi”

His voice was soft and so precious and Magnus wanted to cry. He didn’t know why Alec was here. He hoped and wanted, but he didn’t really know, and yet it didn’t matter, because this moment of soaking up his warmth had answered every question Magnus had about their entire situation. He wanted to remain in these arms forever. And if he couldn’t have them forever, then he wanted them for as long as he could have them. Nothing in his life had ever felt so right, and Magnus was more sure than ever that he’d been an utter idiot.

Alec whispered reverently against his ear “You were incredible up there” and Magnus reared back to see his face. Alec’s eyes were shining with an unnamable emotion, lips stretched in a wide happy smile.

“You watched?”, Magnus asked hesitantly, still unable to fully grasp that he was here.

Alec’s eyes softened and he reached up to brush his hand over Magnus’ cheek. “Of course, I did. I wasn’t going to miss this”

“I thought…”, Magnus licked his dry lips, looking everywhere but at those perceptive eyes. “I thought, since you stopped calling that…”

“That I was done?”, Alec finished, looking amused by Magnus’ flustered state. He shook his head emphatically and said “Never, I just didn’t want to distract you so close to the competition”

The breath that heaved out of Magnus was pure relief, his entire frame draining of tension as he realized that maybe, there was still hope for him to salvage their fledgling relationship.

“So, that means you’re not tired of me yet?”, he insisted, wanting to have the reassurance from Alexander’s lips, and Alec looked around them, perusing the room “You’re sure you want to have this conversation here?”

Magnus had honestly forgotten where they were for a moment there, too entranced by Alec’s presence to notice mundane things like famous musicians and prying eyes, but as soon as Alec pointed it out, he could feel the gazes that were glued to them from across the room, as gossip ran rampant.

He looked at Alexander, still smiling gently like a beacon of calm and assuredness, then grabbed his hand and dragged them to the balcony. They cleared the double doors, slightly hiding behind a wall to the side as Alec teased “Did you hide us so you could have your wicked way with me? Because I approve”

Magnus just gazed at him, cognizant of the elation coursing through his veins, and fuck, it was still scary to realize how much his entire mood could be altered by Alec, but he’d just spent the most miserable week of his life without this man, so dwelling on that was not in the top of his priorities.

What was top priority was apologizing to Alec, so he cleared his throat slightly and started “Alexander, I’m sorry for this week” but Alec just shook his head and put his finger on Magnus’ lips, stilling his burgeoning tirade “It’s okay. I knew going into this that you were skittish, and I don’t expect you to fall in love with me in the matter of days. I’ve had three years to come to terms with my feeling, Magnus. I can’t begrudge you a week. I just need to know that there are feelings, because if I’m flying solo here, then I need to know”

The words were spoken in a calm baritone, like Alec had rehearsed them a hundred times, mastering the tones of inflection in his voice, and Magnus realized that some part of Alec was prepared to be at peace with his decision no matter what. His heart felt like it was beating in his ears, because how the fuck had he gotten so lucky as to have someone love him so generously, for years, and have the immense fortune of loving them back. He didn’t want flowery words or intricate declarations. He just needed to say the words as he felt them, so he put his hand on alexander’s beating heart, feeling the thrum of it, so substantial under his hand and looked at those beautiful hazels, stating simply “Alexander Lightwood, I am so in love with you”.

If Magnus had thought that Alec’s smile was bright before, it basically outshined the sun at that point. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together, taking Magnus’ breath away with a small chaste kiss. He was so gone for him. They didn’t take it any further, giving their location, just enjoyed teasing each other with small pecks that got interrupted every time their lips were too wide spread in smiles to maintain contact.

Magnus’ voice sounded hoarse to his own ears when he finally spoke “I figured out the favor I want”

Alec didn’t need more to know what he was talking about “Yeah? Tell me”

Magnus bit his lip then whispered cautiously, his heart in his throat as he put his whole heart into the words “Don’t give up on me”

Alec’s eyes softened instantly, acquiring a fond affectionate sheen to them as he framed Magnus’ face with his hands and put their foreheads together “Oh baby, that is never something you have to ask from me. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried”

Magnus chuckled around the lump in his throat as he tried to lighten the mood “Don’t make it creepy, you weirdo”, and Alec just laughed out loud and said, love and affection ringing bright in his voice “There you are”.

* * *

* * *

 Magnus was late. He raced through the doors of the Institute feeling a smile stretch his face. It was sappy but he loved it when Alec got so excited about his work that he called him in the middle of his regular Wednesday night hang out with Maia and Simon, just to beg him to come listen and give him his opinion.

Maia and Simon had just smiled at him knowingly and asked him to give Alec their best. As for him, he was used to waking up in the middle of the night to find the sheets cold, because Alec was in their home studio, bedhead all over the place, scribbling in a music sheet because he couldn’t stop thinking about an arrangement. How that idiot had thought he could live without music was beyond him. It was such an intrinsic essential part of him that Magnus was sure he would have been miserable without it. Obviously, he had to tell his boyfriend “I told you so” at least once a day just to properly rub it in.

 _Boyfriend_. Two years in and thinking of Alec that way still felt surreal half the time, although Magnus wouldn’t change the life that they had for anything. He thought he was happy before Alec, but the more they merged their lives together, the more in love he fell, the more he realized that he’d simply been content, which wasn’t a bad thing to be in the grand scheme of life, but it sure didn’t beat being loved by Alec Lightwood. It was the most addictive sensation in the world, to have those gorgeous hazels trained so utterly on him, shining with love and care and affection.

Admittedly, being in love obviously didn’t mean that they had both underwent a personality transplant. Fighting and bickering were still an everyday occurrence of their lives. However, they had so much fun making up after they annoyed each other to death, that sometimes Magnus just started shit so Alec can have his wicked way with him.

It was a crazy wild journey, and they went through it together, forging their own path, creating their destiny, and Magnus sometimes couldn’t fathom how one person could be so happy and in love without waiting for the other shoe to drop, but one soft look from his Alexander made him remember that they had earned that happiness, with conflict and misunderstandings and lonely nights craving all the things they thought they couldn’t have, they had more than earned their little piece of heaven.

He skidded to stop in front of 2C and knocked gently, still confused as to why Alec wasn’t just working from home as he did most nights. They hadn’t used this room in ages. A faint “Come in” sounded from the other side, and Magnus opened the door to find the room transformed. Candles were lit up on every flat surface, including the piano top, which looked dangerous and property damage inducing, but Alec’s parents owned the place, so Magnus wasn’t going to comment.

Alec sat in the middle of the whimsical scene, draped in formal performance wear, cello in position, doe eyes tracking him fondly. He was wearing a black penguin suit and a white bowtie, and Magnus could honestly attest that that six-foot frame was the only thing that could make those monstrosities even remotely attractive. It was just like him to prepare some romantic surprise on a weekday, just because he could. It was one of Magnus’ favorite things about him, how that poker face hid a wealth of marshmallow softness beneath, a heart made of gold that was just waiting for someone to care for, waiting for Magnus. 

The mood felt charged and heavy, so naturally, Magnus closed the door and leaned on it, hands behind his back as he quipped at his boyfriend “Alexander, are you wooing again?”

Alec laughed just as intended, probably recalling an incident that involved Magnus’ favorite roast chicken recipe, the fire department, and an agitated Alexander looking confused with a burnt pot in his hands as he whispered “I wanted to woo you”

Alec shook his head and said “No, I’m not wooing. Well, I guess I am, but I’m going to need you to listen carefully. Okay?”

Magnus swallowed convulsively and nodded, still backed against the door. Alec seemed just as nervous for some reason as he cleared his throat and said “Magnus, I’m not good with words. I never have been, and you of all people know that I usually say the wrong thing so many times before I get it right. There are two things in life I know I’m good at: Music and loving you”. His voice turned hoarse on those last words, and he had to stop and breathe before looking at up at him again and saying “So, in my infinite wisdom, I thought I’d tell you how much I love you in a way that I can get right”

He put his cello in position, and made sure Magnus was paying attention, as if being anything other than mesmerized was a possibility right then. Magnus expected him to grab his bow, but Alec put his fingertips on the strings, and started playing pizzicato style. He strummed and plucked the notes, starting a tune that took Magnus a few seconds to recognize, and once he did, he couldn’t help the rush of tears.

Magnus had never put stock in the notion of love and commitment and the whole happily ever after before he met Alec. Of that, he was certain, but even after they’d gotten together, he sometimes wondered if there wouldn’t come a day when Alec tired of him, or realized that he deserved better. As he watched the love of his life strum the notes to Bruno Mars’ _Marry you_ , looking at him like he hung the stars, Magnus knew that his questions were nothing but a load of bullshit. He was exactly where he needed to be, with the one person who was meant for him, and if Alexander wanted them to spend the rest of their lives competing for each other’s love, then he could rest assured that Magnus wasn’t going to let him win easy.

Alec continued playing, stealing glances at Magnus every now and then to gouge his reaction, and as tears streamed down Magnus’ face, he looked more and more nervous, probably worried that Magnus was about to turn him down, which just went to say that he would always remain his favorite idiot.

Magnus waited for the last plucked note before pushing off the door and going to him, relieving him of his cello and setting it aside, then settling on his lap with his knees on either side of Alec. He put his arms around Alec’s neck, hands going to the back of his head to play with the soft locks. Alec’s hands settled on his hips, keeping him in place, and those wary nervous hazels looked up at him, as Alec asked “So, did the message go through?”

“Oh, you were wooing alright”, Magnus cracked, hoping to reassure him that there was nothing to be nervous about.

Alec chuckled quietly, visibly still nervous, then he said, pleadingly, squeezing him gently “You know that I love your quick wit, but I need the words, baby”

“Yes. There is no universe in which that answer will ever be anything but a yes. I will marry you, Alexander”

Alec’s smile started slow, growing bigger and brighter even as his entire frame deflated from tension. He faceplanted in Magnus’ chest, as his arms left his hips to wrap around his waist.

Magnus couldn’t help the rush of affection he felt “You poor man. You were actually worried”, he teased as he kissed the top of Alec’s head.

Alexander didn’t respond, but simply tightened his hold on him and held on.

A few moments went by as they sat there, luxuriating in the enormity of the moment, relishing the abundant certainty they had in their feelings, in the sanctity of their commitment, until a muffled “I love you so much” sounded from Alec. He raised bloodshot eyes to Magnus and he didn’t need to say anything else. Magnus understood. He had moments where he woke up at night, and just looked at the figure lying next to him, unable to comprehend that he was living this reality, a reality where he got to love Alexander, and watch over him as he slept. So, he just leaned forward and pecked Alec’s eyelids, then his nose, then his cheeks, then finally his smiling mouth.

He then raised one finger and asked, affecting the most serious tone he could giving the circumstances “I just have one question: When on earth did you find the time to rehearse that song?” and Alec burst out laughing, tears of mirth pooling in his eyes.

He kissed Magnus gently then spoke against his lips “I may have been skipping my morning run for the past month to come here so you wouldn’t notice”

Magnus felt his heart expand, even as he pressed a dramatic hand to his chest in mock offense and stoically announced “I don’t know how to deal with this betrayal. My fiancé has been lying to me”

Alec just lifted his head to the ceiling and said “Fuck, that sounds good coming from you”

“It does, doesn’t it? Has a nice ring to it”. He started experimenting with the words “Let me introduce you to my fiancé” “Have you seen my fiancé?”

By this point, Alec was just looking at him, smiling like a loon, but Magnus couldn’t stop. He felt giddy and silly, his heart fair to bursting with happiness. He touched Alec’s stubble and said “You know that you one-upped me again, don’t you? Now, I’m going to have to step up my game”

Alec turned his head to stamp a kiss on Magnus’ open palm and said “I figured out a cheating method that lets you win the whole game, actually”. Magnus arched a brow at him and said “Do share with the class, Alexander”

“You love me and let me love you, forever”

Magnus considered the thought then said magnanimously “That, I can do”

 _Yeah_ , he thought as he gazed at his future husband, _that is something I can definitely do_.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! You made it 👏 
> 
> Thank you for reading. I hope this fic managed to put a smile on your face. Let me know what you think in the comments section below 😍
> 
> Until next time 👋


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